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  Post  Post subject: Biography:  |  Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 3:31 am

Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2016 7:40 am
Posts: 7

This article is about my life surviving inside the mormon church, and then living my life outside of the mormon church. However, I still experience traumas from the mormon church which means that outwardly, I am living (or beginning to live) while still surviving on the inside. It also discusses (large) familes and what happened to myself as a child in the mormon church.

I was born into the mormon church. My father's and his entire side of that family was born into the mormon church. My mother joined during adulthood; none of that side of the family was mormons, (not that I am aware of). Even so, my mother was much more dedicated to the LDS than my father. She was a sister missionary then located where my father had went to graduate school, and so they met. I know little about her side but she has one bother and one sister. My father has 5 brothers and 3 sisters. If I remember correctly, one of his brothers has 4 children (2 boys and 2 girls), one has 4 children (also 2 boys and 2 girls), one has 8 children (7 boys and 1 girl), 1 has 3 (2 girls and 1 boy), his sisters has 4 sons, another sister has 2 sons, and another sister has 4 sons. This is from when I last heard of them; Now I have lost count. I have at least 29 cousins. Many of them all have children themselves and I simply cannot memorize everybody. I know large families isn't something unique to the mormon church but I will talk more about this later. (I am trying to write this as a biography in chronological order.)

I was an only child, born premature; my 3 siblings were miss carried. I had 1 sister adopted, and thus, 4 (or 5?) nephews, and a brother in law. And one more which I will talk about shortly.

Most of my childhood was spent for the mormon church. There was church on sunday. Family Home Evening on Monday, Boy Scouts on Wednesday (at the church), and Saturday is the "Day To Get Ready For Sunday", as working at a job, buying food or anything else, cleaning, and any physical labour at all is forbidden on Sunday. My father worked Tuesday and Thursday nights, but otherwise there was plenty of illustrated scripture stories filled with pale skinned Nephites and dark skinned, barbaric, savage, Lamanites which were "cursed with dark skin" and having parties and literally pointing and laughing at the Nephites. There were three hymn books, including one for children. These songs had very detailed and specific instructions I still cannot get them out of my head, and plenty of closed circuit videos to watch. Many of them were animated, and some were live action. One I remember was about Joseph Smith running across a green field in a white church shirt. Another (this one has an entry at IMDB) is about a family who lost their relative (their daughter?) and then very quickly after missionaries comforted them, they miraculously felt better. There is another mini series about a family who's family vehicle is a Chevrolet Celebrity Wagon. They sacrifice just about everything else and move back to their family farm to care for ill relatives. The last one: is some gloomy and very conservative video basically saying that modern times are filled with sinners and "the end is near."

With all the repetitive testamonies stating that "The [LDS] church is [only] true." combined with my mother's encouragement, I believed that as a mormon: I had natural leadership skills, I was capable of identifying sins, rescuing sinners, and "most important" was that everything that the Mormon church does is right, and anything that everybody else does is wrong. I ended up not getting along with anybody for several years as a child. I did not like (or at least I thought I didn't like) my classmates. I also did not like kids at church. I had become tired with their constant belittling of "outsiders". I also had heard the same thing from my mother, and I was punished for asking questions or disagreeing with her.

Both of my parents were disabled and eventually my mother became terminally ill. I was very depressed but I did not know why. (She didn't know why either. I will leave out what her solution for me was.) I simply did not realize other kids had healthier parents. After constantly being in a hospital bed, I had accepted that she will probably move to some type of nursing home. But she died. She was 40 and I was 11. Also, their dog of 14 years died months afterwards.

Eventually I decided to try to change what I did not like about my self and my life. I had changed slightly, but only to a point because my father was never supportive.

My childhood was not entirely occupied by mormonism. I had spent time outside with plants and animals. I was able to have a garden and furry little pets. (Ironically I have still have plants from that garden and long decendants of those same furry little pets). I began to cringe when other members said that neither plants nor animals have souls. This added to other discrepencies, such as robots would not have souls, that dinosaurs obviously don't exist, "Lamanites" never crossed the Bering Strait, and that my immiganary friend from before Preschool was not real but my parents' Immaginary Friend was.

I was baptized at 8, ordained to Aaronic Priesthood and sacrement at 12. I did not want to be ordained as a sunday school teacher at age 14 (!) I started to sit outside the chapel and then outside the building, and then in the car, and then, just staying at "home". My father was almost never around. (At church, and the temple, baptizing the souls of the dead?! More often at church than at work.) I did not want his mentally unstable violence around me anyways. He kept interpreting Genesis, the Pre Existence, (my topic I had to give each year for several years as a child, which I had memorized but never understood) that everything (which would include the abuse I experienced) was intentionally part of "Heavenly Father's Plan" and that people are put on earth to be tested by the devil. His words became actions. I supposed he was taking on the role of the devil? I'd avoid him as any attempt to stand up for myself would make ME look bad and it was always his word against mine. The same went with his brother (the one with no children). And not only did I try to leave the LDS church, I left my father's side of the family, although people from both parties kept talking to me sometimes.

My father had remarried, and I had a stepmother who is not disabled, and also I have a step brother (and later, sister in law) who was already grown and moved out. I don't believe we ever talked. My step mother is just as aristocratic as the rest of my father and his side of those relatives. She is equally unsupporitve. It certainly doesn't help that when she misplaced her cookbook my father said "God told her that I stole it." Perhaps she thinks that there is not room for me in their family. That is fine. She can have them. I do not want them.

I had few friends in high school but this does not matter because I left that town for good. I do not want to visit or even pass through. When I moved out on my own, I was finally in control of my own life. Although I am still in poverty, I enjoy my life much more that I have control of it, instead of a church (and "family" glued to the church) controlling me. The LDS Chuch has a social circle, structure, opportunities, and even a lifetime of events for me. I believe this is called a Patriarchical Blessing. (I might have spelled it wrong.) I do not want any of that. I can compare my efforts in life to that of teacher Ms. Honey from the Matilda movie, living in an old house surrounded by sunflowers. In other words, you couldn't tell she was in pain.

My "family" occasionally talked to me, and sent me that calendar filled with family pictures. There are many going on mission trips. (Not Me!) And I have many more new cousins and new marriages I do not know who they are and I do not care to meet. The calendar is assembled by my perverted uncle. I never liked how he treated the younger ones, and I hated how everybody else just looked the other way whenever it happened. "As long as he goes to church.", right?!

Also, a Home Teacher found me as well. (Yes, it was usually just the one.) He texted me; probably got my number from my "parents". He asked to visit. and I said "I will try." I was surprised to see that we had many things in common, which is why I continued to let him visit. He was new to the area and perhaps I could be more helpful to him instead of him being trying to be helpful to me! I also thought perhaps he could understand me, although much of my stress was the LDS chuch itself, and that I have no desire to serve and preach to other people. I regret EVERY word I said to other people. If somebody wants to go to a church, even the LDS church, then that is fine. It is their life. But I will not try to change any body one way or another. Because people are usually happy with their life - even Mormons ... Dedicated Mormons are happy with their church. In fact, if there was no LDS church, they would not be able to function. But as a child (yes, as a child) I spread the gospel like a virus. If I could apologize to everybody, I would. It is probably Too Late To Apologize but I feel I want to anyways.

Eventually, I told him to go away. I do not need to spend time with them or their family. I do not need them for any thing. I can take care of myself. Their offers are not genuine. Deep down on the inside, they are Mormons, and I can never be myself around them. I am afraid to even ask if they are racist or if they look down on other religions. (Religions, not just denominations)

I wanted to tell him everything I typed in the above paragraph, but instead I quickly said My explanation was "I could tell you why I want you to go away, but you will never understand." And I very much doubt he will.

I have not heard from my biological family since. (I keep wondering if they are really my biological family.) I have decided to ignore all communication if I ever get any. I am finished with them.

Deciding to divide my biography into chapters, Here is what my life is like outside the Mormon church and comparing it to my observations about Mormons.

There was a woman now single with grown children who moved out of her house. After talking with one of her CPS friends, she decided to adopt four children. These children are biracial, part African American. I looked around in all those Family Calendars from my past and not iced that my stepbrother isn't considered a part of that family. There is a directory with each calendar similar to an LDS roster. He isn't even listed as part of the family! Why not?! Stepchildren are not really a part of the family?! As far as I'm concerned, he belongs in that family much more than I do. I would be perfectly happy if they added him and even happier if they erased me. I refuse to be in pictures; I refuse to put on a happy face, especially if they never bothered to take me to a dentist. (I have not been since 8th grade.) I am not going to pretend things are perfect when they are certainly not. And I simply refuse to believe in what they believe in.

I see that all those children have appeared in that calendar since birth. None of them are stepchildren and none of them are adopted. They keep multiplying and it sickens me that there are hungry orphan children somewhere with no homes or families. So there is something I not iced out in The Real World that Mormons (or at least those mormons in the calendar) do not believe in.

I suppose my "sinning" increases as I begin to accept "outsiders" for who they really are, and not what Mormons want them to become. Another neighbour is another single mother. She was divorced and then married another but she is now widowed. Later, she had a boyfriend who was jealous of a dead guy. The point is: She raised children all by herself a few times, sometimes with the help of other relatives and stepchildren. She dropped out of high school, she works a minimum wage job, and even so she is not a "Lamanite". Her four children have chores; their house is clean. Their yard is filled with athletic equipment. You name it: They have it. Sometimes she will play sports with them. There is tire swing, swimming pool, weight set, volley ball, tether ball, trampoline, and basket ball. I have now played sports with other people, for the first time. Their shirts were usually off. I was burned up and I was terrified what they would do to me if I quietly took mine off. To my surprise, they did not care.

Other traits among these and other "outsiders" is there are piercings (especially among men) and tattoos (especially among women). I decided I am not bothered by it. Many people cuss. Actually, I prefer it. (As long as they are not violent.) And contrary to those illustrated scriptures, people do not party all the time. They are not alcoholics. They drink alcohol sometimes, but I don't mind as long as they aren't driving, and once again ... I do not like violence. I have watched a few R - Rated movies which is yet another thing I was told as an LDS child I could not do (at any age). My mind has been opened and I seem to be accepted a lot more by the "outsiders" instead of Mormons. Online, I only have pictures of myself with my friends and those that consider me family. I consider them family too, but I have not told them I was born a Mormon and I am not sure I want to. I do not like to look at my past any more than the central character in The Rookies episode "A Farewell Tree From Marly."

My father was for a while proud for having a son but as far as I am concerned, he has no son (certainly not me). I guess if you are not "there" for your son, then your son won't be there for you just like the Cats In The Cradle song. I plan on moving again and I will not tell my biological relatives my new address and telephone. Any future family I start would have maternal relatives, but no paternal biological relatives

Although I finally said goodbye forever to all of my biological relatives (including my adopted sister) and I certainly have said goodbye to Mormons, who will never understand why I won't be like them, and although I have much more control of my life, I feel alone and my life has been damaged. Making friends is difficult because I am afraid to open up to anybody. I try to never complain about any problems I have. Having friends could mean they are only my friends based out of pity. I keep my weaknesses a secret just like in that Star Trek episode. Because I hate pity as much as Dr. Jones does from "Is There No Truth In Beauty?" A lot of times I try to think logically, without emotion, just like Spock or another Vulcan. (Don't worry. This is my last TV comparison.)

There are support groups for those recovering from alcohol and drugs. I doubt there is a support group to recover from a cult-like religion. If there was such a support group, I would join it. Fortunately I was able to join this website. Thank you for reading this very long article. I am now going to read yours.

Last edited by InHYPHENCorrect on Sun Dec 04, 2016 3:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

Post  Post subject: Re: Biography:  |  Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 3:33 am

Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2016 7:40 am
Posts: 7

That is the basic summary. Other details will be added in new posts, such as when I have successfully accomplished various things in my life and comparing my new life with my previous life.

Post  Post subject: Re: Biography:  |  Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:33 am

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

Thank you for posting your journey and talking about where you are now. It is good that you are moving forwards and have these insights and I am sure this will help you move yet further on still. It all takes time and coming to terms layer by layer.

Readers may be interested in this aspect that I noticed within your words.
<<<<<<My childhood was not entirely occupied by mormonism. I had spent time outside with plants and animals. I was able to have a garden and furry little pets. (Ironically I have still have plants from that garden and long decendants of those same furry little pets). I began to cringe when other members said that neither plants nor animals have souls. >>>>>>
Brethren should administer to the sick at the request of the sick person or of someone who is vitally concerned so the blessing will be according to their faith"( D&C 24:13-14; 42:43-44, 48-52).

Well, animals cannot exercise faith. Can priesthood blessings be given to them?. Is the faith of the owner's animal sufficient for that blessing to work?.

Our dear pioneers gave their animals priesthood blessings:
international QUOTE

"As the company was crossing Wyoming one day, one of Mary's oxen suddenly lay down as if poisoned. It appeared the ox would die, and Mary had no spare ox with which to replace him. As the ox began to stiffen, the company captain exclaimed, "He is dead, there is no use working with him, we"ll have to fix up some way to take the Widow [Mary] along. I told her she would be a burden on the company."
Mary said nothing, but she took a bottle of consecrated oil from her wagon and asked her brother, Joseph Fielding, and another man to administer to her ox. "It was a solemn moment there under the open sky. A hush fell over the scene. The men removed their hats. All bowed their heads as Joseph Fielding "¦ laid his hands on the head of the [dying] ox, and prayed over it. The great beast lay stretched out and very still. Its glassy eyes looked nowhere. A moment after the administration the animal stirred. Its huge, hind legs commenced to gather under it. Its haunches started to rise. The forelegs strengthened. The ox stood and, without urging, started off as if nothing had happened." Soon another ox fell ill and was administered to, and it also recovered."(Life of Joseph F. Smith)

It is all about education isn't it.

Sometimes I see that a particular member of the LDS church is unaware of something and so that becomes how people think that area is, but actually the doctrines may be very different.

Everyone is going to have their own journey, just think about your healing for now.
There are cult recovery groups and groups that help with all aspects of religious transition.

I do recommend you check out White Fields Educational Foundation

Also Janis Hutchinson writes well ''Out of the cults and into the Church''
Take Care

Why leave? ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? ... ion225.mp3

  Post  Post subject: Re: Biography:  |  Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:33 am

Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2016 7:40 am
Posts: 7

Unbelieveable. When joining this forum I tried to write a shorter version of my bio, but instead I ended up with my PostMormon Bio and pasted it here anyways!!

Looking at the PostMormon Bio It says "tattoos especially among women and piercings especially among men" I mixed that up. It should have said "tattoos (especially among men) and piercings (especially among women).

I am going to post the Bio I meant for this website. It is only a year newer than the other bio but it might contain recent information. I will paste it now and then I will go away in embarrassment.

  Post  Post subject: Re: Biography:  |  Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:35 am

Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2016 7:40 am
Posts: 7

Here is my Bio (about being a More Men) if you want to read it:

I was raised by Some People that I do not call my family. Despite More Men image of Family, and their use of "Brother" and "Sister" caused confusion that when I was younger I did not know who was my family. I might as well be raised by Any Of Them and there would be very little difference, except perhaps different types of jobs and cars and houses.

All Of His Side Of His Family is 110% More Men.

She is the only one on her side of her family. But there are other forms of dysfunction. The illusion of perfection is probably what attracted her to LDS, because she was even more religious than He.

Both Of Them have physical and psychological issues. Neither knew how to raise a child, in my experience as being a child. The house was filthy, the food was either fast food or grilled american cheese sandwiches, made me sick very often, (ironically, we did not have much ramen noodles) and mostly entirely Church this and Church that. And also going with Him to knock on people's doors asking why they did not go to church that week, and sending spammy envelopes trying to find people who moved.

Elementary School:
I am surprised I had any friends at all, considering that I was always trying to preach to them. I am surprised I did not get expelled. There were black people in my school and fortunately I never repeated what I was told that Black = Devil. I did not believe in my heart any of The Teachings but would get in huge trouble if I did not try to repeat things. I did not say that "I think those things are wicked." I said "Those People Think Those Things Are Wicked [and they are telling me to say it]." I was also not allowed to watch much music, film, and television, that others could watch. I did not understand why there were different churches including churches with stained glass windows of which, as a child, I was attracted to because of the colourful lights but was punished nonetheless for even saying that.

4th Grade:
I did not like being so isolated and wondered why our househould (And house) was not larger. There was actually children taht they had, which were still-born. I believe it was boy, girl, me, and boy. The other three died. Or perhaps I was switched at birth because they are desperate. They adopted a girl, on her SIXTEENTH (!) birthday. I hear this is unusual to adopt a 16 year old. I learned a lot from her (such as what Ramen Noodles) are, and we had the "Full House" I had always wanted. Filled with her various boyfriends and runaway friends as well. She had many children, all boys, circumsized, and eventually she lost custody of them. (I hear it is rare for a mother to lose custody of her children.) Her and her runaways and her boyfriends had many drug problems and neglecting her sons. She could not hold down a job. She could not hold down a class either.

5th Grade:

The Matriarch Of The House became more ill than ever. As a child, I was unaware that wheelchairs are not toys. (Actually, MANY children DO think Wheelcharis ARE toys, and like to race around in them. I cringe every time some random kids steals a wheelchair and plays in it.) But I wanted to sit on Her lap and when the stores had electric scooters we switched over to them and I wanted to drive it and honk the horn. NOT COOL. Also, Most children do not have to drain the catheter either. She was on so many pills she became an addict. to drugs. and also to religion. I scoff at The Power Of Prayer. Why not The Power Of Physical Therapy instead?! She would become even more religious and even more sick. She ended up being bedridden in a hospital bed all the time. At "home", and in the hospital. I never realized how tiny our "house" was. Because of His employment was in a very large building, my school was in a very large building, and I suppose church was a fairly large building, and of course the hospital was a very large building. A very small town, it did not have a [hospital] ward for people who basically lived in the hospital. She was there so often, It would be nice if The Adopted Girl got a job AT the hospital to help pay for the hospital bills. Or perhaps me, if I was old enough. I was always in tears how sick she was. I was thinking that she would move to a nursing home. She died about 6 weeks before the end of 5th grade.

6th Grade:

I decided to change myself so I would not end up like Her. This included no longer mentioning anything LDS to other people, not crying any more, and also losing weight from all the bad food and also the pills that I ended up being on as well. I was a Deacon. The Bishop at that time was a very gentle one and so I had little concerns. Also, this was around the time I stayed with The Bishop, and several others. The Patriarch Of The House had to go to various conventions All Over The Place. I tried to be supportive and was somewhat interested that he got to drive a company car to the airport. Other times he was just being late from Temple. I kept going back and forth to other but much more stable houses. They even let me keep the guinea pigs with me. Having to go to other people's house would have been fine, if I had just STAYED there. But I kept having to go back once He returned. I can imagine what a foster kid has to go through. However, these households were LDS, and so I don't think they would like who I am today. There was one household that was only partially LDS because the man married a woman that was divorced and she and her kids from the previous marriage never joined. Perhaps they would be more casual but what difference does it make. It is in the past and I should keep it there. I just wanted to mention it. Also, I want to mention one of The Adopted Girl's boyfriends during my 6th grade year, was actually VERY responsible. He had a job (the first of her many boyfriends) but at the time was staying with us in our puny house. He was also a stronger, tougher man compared to The Patriarch Of The House, and considered him a role model. I also noticed behaviours that I had never seen men do (because I was always around LDS Men very often) such as wearing one shirt and keeping it open when at home. He was way too responsible for her (she likes her men being irresponsible) and they broke up.

7th Grade:
The Having To Stay At Peoples Houses continued. Also, this was when I had growth spurt, and LDS represses this biological fact, and so I remained silent, withdrawn, and very low self esteem. My withdrawn behaviour was found to be unusual by my classmates, because they would openly discuss and brag about sex, even though they sometimes had no idea what they are talking about. There were times that Athletes (or people who thought they were athletes) playing Sport, wanted me to sign up for Sport as well. Some were friendly, but a few were intimidating. And they found out that I was LDS and at times became very bullying. I also did not want to be ordained as a Sunday School Teacher which would have happened in 8th grade.

8th Grade:
in 8th grade I began to stop going to church for good. I never went back. And at the same time, He stopped taking me to dentist. I still need to go back (to dentist) and I have seen EVERYBODY no matter what level of poverty, they have always had People Who Raised Them also took them to denist!! There was even more backlash I experienced from my putting my feet down and not going any more. And of course they thought I had some type of mental health problem or possess by demon. I have been in counseling in 8th grade. Counseling is something I do not recommend because if somebody harms you, they will not believe you.

Summer After 8th Grade:
That was during the 50th Marriage Anniversary of His Parents. EVERYBODY was forced to be there. And even worse than that, He was talking about moving. Moving away across two different time zones. Literally we were going on a permanent sounding vacation, to where we would probably not even return. This was horrifying especially because I had pet guinea pigs back then as well. But we did not take them with us. Were we just going to leave them to die? And yes, That Woman They Adopted DID end up killing some of them. Her excuse was "5 of them are loose. If I try to catch them, they bit me." I was almost mollested by my uncle, which of course nobody got upset about it. We ended up actually returning to my surprise, but also I found out that two of my very favourites died, UNDER a cage. (How could something like that possibly be an accident?!)

High School:
We ended up not moving at all. But He ended up getting involved in my school, the most backwards school ever. By this time, I was back on medicine (and lots of it) and made the mistake of telling other classmates I thought were my friends. They joked I was now going to lose control and kill everybody, which got the attention of the school admins. There were "anonymous" complaints and when I become worried I was diagnosed with even more mental illness which made me not credible. He was delighted that these things happened, to the point that he was directly involved and sent me away to be "punished" for two weeks. Other times it was other students, "The Wrong Crowd", one of which is the son of a Dean at a University. He and his friends are dropouts from band class. He ended writing things in my year book such as "Person Name MUST DIE!!" and before you know it people thought I wrote it! It is not even in my hand writing and does not even look like it. I blacked it out. But it is very strange that That Guy drew all of these disturbing artwork and nobody was upset. Sometimes they even liked it. He was also the one wearing torn up clothes with dark red spray paint on them, into the horror movies, and yet people thought ME as a disturbed person. And now that every time I look back I very much regret spending any time with him. More about it later. Also, towards the end of high school, The Patriarch Of That Household got remarried to a woman he was dating for a while. Sometimes I worry about her if he forgets his pills. These pills and unhealthy foods are stress relievers for the pressures of LDS. She misplaced one of her books and "God told her that I stole it." She used to drive me from school but she drove some of her students if their parents were late or called saying that they were unavailable to pick them up. I was the one blamed for the paint peeling off of the car door handle even though I never sat there. I also could not have a house key and was locked out in the snow often. I think it is safe to say that when She married Him, She belongs in that family, and I do not.

After High School:

I moved out and stayed in what I called "The Filthy Oven". It had roaches everywhere and also a wiring problem and a plumbing problem. I showered elsewhere and even got water elsewhere. A guinea pig of 8 years died in this house. I don't care if 8 years is a long time. And the roommates were bums. Trying to enroll in University, and succeeded on my own, but once I told Other People about it, then more "anonymous" complaints about me just being there happened all over again, and I was thrown out. And once again, He was delighted. He said things such as "This would not happen if you only go to church."

The roommates told the landlady that all of us moved out, and so I was homeless (but I don't miss that place.) I was staying for a few weeks at my "Friend"'s mother's house. He, being an only child, did not want me there, and did anything he could think of including cornering me to get me to leave.

I ended up staying at the another "friend"'s mother's house which was also filthy. Fortunately, the only mess was dirty laundry all over the place. Even though I was in somebody else's house, I was able to take charge of the laundry (even if that meant I was the only one doing it) These people had a very shady lifestyle, including alcohol and drugs. It was a nightmare, another situation of "Go ahead and try to tell somebody. Look at your reputation. Look at our reputation. Who do you think they will believe??". But I was only there a few months before finding a rent-to-own place.

The place I moved to was very shady, but not nearly as shady as the places I used to live in.

I got my driver's permit.

But back to That "friend" from high school: I spent time with him in all of high school, and after high school. I had little choice because at least he was (barely) willing to give me rides to go get groceries (and a few times almost got us kicked out of the store) as I did not have my driver's license nor car until much later. I eventually found out when I asked why is he talking to a guy I thought was both of our enemies he said "Me and him were never enemies. Why didn't you figure this out earlier??" This meant that I had no business telling this guy anything.

I ended up getting my driver's license.

I ended up going to hospital because of all the bad lifestyle choices, bad diet, bad exercise, eating pork, being bit by a spider, I am not sure what happened. That hospital was as backwards as any other place in that area and I found out I really had zero friends. This is when I finally dropped that one guy and decided the rides are not worth it. He wanted to go to Buffalo Wild Wings instead of visit me.

And a little over one year later, I ended up getting my first driveable car. I will tell you more about it later, but now all these people that didn't want to give me rides now want me to give them rides.

But since Those People Who Raised Me ended up helping me get the car (which involved taking one of my dead cars claiming to fix it as a birthday gift and then instead of returning it to me, told me to "Cancel [my] insurance. [We don't want you to drive.]") since the car and insurance was in my name I threatened to call the police. They replaced it and said I have to repay them but they never said how much I owe. At the same time, Home Teachers stowed with them the next time The People Who Raised Me visited.

I had enough of being harrassed and filed the papers to send to Global Center or whatever it's called, which took two and a half months and the LDS people to talk to me were the same ones who raised me. I did not say much. I only said enough to get them to go away. Instead of being happy that I am doing things to stand up for myself and take care of myself, they are very SADDENED.

I have resigned about a year and a half ago. I also want absolutely nothing to do with anything LDS or anybody LDS. Other things that happened last year is Car That Runs #2, which means I now have two cars that run, and at Rent To Own thing is paid off. My sheds were paid off for years. And I began to rent to own land.

I have not told Them where my land is and I am not going to.

They have moved away to some place that has better employment and I am happy for them, but they should have done this before I was even born (Because That IS The Same Metro Where I Was Born!!) Also, I do not talk to them. I also do not talk to That Adopted Girl or any of her numerous children or the ex-husband that she married (he is also responsible, just like that other guy. And yes, that is why they divorced lol)

My land is very far from That High School I Went To, and any other properties I buy are going to be in the same area as my land.

I do not talk about any of this often, even though I typed a lot. I also try not to think about it. (Lol.) But instead of counseling, I join Post More Men, The Ex More Men Forums (This Website), and also Ron Low's message boards, and a few blog posts at The Social Anxiety Support Forums. I specifically talk about my experiences with former toxic friends and give them descriptive nicknames. Once I type it, I try to let everything go and keep it in the past.

I have a few friends that I consider coworkers or business partners and other people that considers me family. I have learned a lot from all these people and I am also fortunate when they helped me out. But I have not told them any of this either. When I do, I will just paste everything I type on this and the other websites I mentioned. I am on a few other websites as well, mostly anything from Google and Zazzle, and perhaps Twitter, but nothing on any other "social networking" site that everybody flocks to and those websites always malfunction. And I am not going to upgrade my "mobile device" every few months to keep up with those silly websites ... or "apps".

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