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peacelover999
Post  Post subject: Need advice for an active missionary in the field!!!  |  Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 3:57 pm
Nursery

Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 3:43 pm
Posts: 1

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Hey everyone, I am in a very sticky situation and I need all the advice I can get.
I am not a mormon, and I am very against the church. But, I stared dating this guy my junior year of high school that was a mormon. We dated for 2.5 years and 3 months ago he left for his mission to South America. We didn't really break up, he just kind of left. He isn't the best Mormon ever...if you know what I mean. He basically lived two different lives. He was a different person around me then he was around his family/ward. He did not want to go on his mission. He went because he didn't want to embarrass his parents who are firm believers in the church. He kept telling me that he didn't want to preach something that he didn't believe in himself. His parents think of him as the perfect son and perfect mormon boy who went on his mission because he wanted to spread the gospel. Fast forward, and he's on his mission. He emailed me saying that he now believes in the church (WHAT??), but feels terribly guilty that he shouldn't be there due to his unworthiness. He wants to come home SO badly. He emails me every week saying how miserable he is, but doesn't know how he could possibly come home and handle the embarrassment. He keeps talking about drinking the unfiltered water or "accidentally" injuring himself. I feel like I am his only support system because NO ONE else knows what he is going through. I'm actually scared what he might do to himself. I think he is hardcore depressed and I honestly don't know what to do. I can't tell his parents because then he will hate me and I don't even know if they would do anything about it. What do I do? How can he come home without everyone thinking he is a failure? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


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joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Need advice for an active missionary in the field!!!  |  Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 8:35 pm
God of Poly-Folly

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:29 pm
Posts: 5371

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peacelover999 wrote:
Hey everyone, I am in a very sticky situation and I need all the advice I can get.
I am not a mormon, and I am very against the church. But, I stared dating this guy my junior year of high school that was a mormon. We dated for 2.5 years and 3 months ago he left for his mission to South America. We didn't really break up, he just kind of left. He isn't the best Mormon ever...if you know what I mean. He basically lived two different lives. He was a different person around me then he was around his family/ward. He did not want to go on his mission. He went because he didn't want to embarrass his parents who are firm believers in the church. He kept telling me that he didn't want to preach something that he didn't believe in himself. His parents think of him as the perfect son and perfect mormon boy who went on his mission because he wanted to spread the gospel. Fast forward, and he's on his mission. He emailed me saying that he now believes in the church (WHAT??), but feels terribly guilty that he shouldn't be there due to his unworthiness. He wants to come home SO badly. He emails me every week saying how miserable he is, but doesn't know how he could possibly come home and handle the embarrassment. He keeps talking about drinking the unfiltered water or "accidentally" injuring himself. I feel like I am his only support system because NO ONE else knows what he is going through. I'm actually scared what he might do to himself. I think he is hardcore depressed and I honestly don't know what to do. I can't tell his parents because then he will hate me and I don't even know if they would do anything about it. What do I do? How can he come home without everyone thinking he is a failure? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hi peacelover999,
You need not feel too awful bad. You're doing what you can. Never worry with the rest.

He's not supposed to be e-mailing, so take good advantage of the opportunity.

Maybe send a link that means something. Look at these, K?

www.alloflife.org

Put a prayer in the sky for the poor fella.

_________________
God of Poly-Folly Folly

{If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~Stevie Wonder}
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
........................ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


God of Poly-Folly Folly


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richkelsey.org
Post  Post subject: Re: Need advice for an active missionary in the field!!!  |  Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 8:36 pm
User avatar
God of Elves, Seer Stones and a Hat

Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2009 7:57 pm
Posts: 1461
Location: Bellevue, WA

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peacelover999 wrote:
Hey everyone, I am in a very sticky situation and I need all the advice I can get.
I am not a mormon, and I am very against the church. But, I stared dating this guy my junior year of high school that was a mormon. We dated for 2.5 years and 3 months ago he left for his mission to South America. We didn't really break up, he just kind of left. He isn't the best Mormon ever...if you know what I mean. He basically lived two different lives. He was a different person around me then he was around his family/ward. He did not want to go on his mission. He went because he didn't want to embarrass his parents who are firm believers in the church. He kept telling me that he didn't want to preach something that he didn't believe in himself. His parents think of him as the perfect son and perfect mormon boy who went on his mission because he wanted to spread the gospel. Fast forward, and he's on his mission. He emailed me saying that he now believes in the church (WHAT??), but feels terribly guilty that he shouldn't be there due to his unworthiness. He wants to come home SO badly. He emails me every week saying how miserable he is, but doesn't know how he could possibly come home and handle the embarrassment. He keeps talking about drinking the unfiltered water or "accidentally" injuring himself. I feel like I am his only support system because NO ONE else knows what he is going through. I'm actually scared what he might do to himself. I think he is hardcore depressed and I honestly don't know what to do. I can't tell his parents because then he will hate me and I don't even know if they would do anything about it. What do I do? How can he come home without everyone thinking he is a failure? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hello peacelover999.

It sounds like your companion may have access to the Internet. If he does, he may find some comfort in reading accounts of LDS Missionaries who visited me just over a year ago:

Ask a Mormon: Cognitive Dissonance and the LDS Faith http://richkelsey.org/cognitive_dissonance.html

They too were faithful to the one true Church; yet, their faithfulness may have dwindled a bit after visiting with me???

Whatever the case: Your companion may relate to and find enlightenment in reading about their journey in the mission field.

Rich


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teoma2
Post  Post subject: Re: Need advice for an active missionary in the field!!!  |  Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 9:50 am
God of Mythbusters

Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:30 am
Posts: 4790
Location: Kolobian Lowlands

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Many aspiring young people enter their MTC and receive a lot of thought reforming behavioral modification before being released to go about their business recruiting more members. That may be a reasonable explanation why your friend had a turn around so quickly. That and the social pressure from his family. Lots of potential reasons for the apparent change in his ideology.

Now that he is in the thick of the business afield, he's struggling. If he can still use the Internet(which is a big no no for missionaries) you might suggest MormonThink or Post Mormon or even this site right here to provide him some assistance in reconciling his difficulties.

Outside of buying him airfare to return home, what do you think he's capable of doing for himself?

_________________
"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: Need advice for an active missionary in the field!!!  |  Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 12:45 pm
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

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Hey, it's great you are reaching out for your guy.

There are a lot of options and the most important matter is the well being of your friend. Depression is an illness and a close friend of mine ended his mission early and went home after medics gave him a diagnosis of depression. There is no shame and no embarrassment in that. No-one will think he is a failure and I think you underestimate the guy's parents and the Mission President.

Your friend will be in pain, wanting to be who he believes he is being called to be as a missionary and at the same time feeling unworthy.

I would, in this situation, advise him to speak to the Mission President and ask to see a doctor. He does not need to tell the MP about your friendship or about his feelings of unworthiness.

Another missionary assigned to my ward ended his mission early too, due to depression and anxiety.

He has reached out to you, now that is a big responsibility. Perhaps you could share some thing with his mom? Just that you believe he is very low? She could then speak to the MP. How seriously are you worried for his health? I am sure that no matter how much she loves the church, she will love her son and she will follow correct church procedures to help her son come home if he gets a medical diagnosis.

You can all deal with all the rest of it down the line.

The church is not the enemy. Let us know how things develop.

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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richkelsey.org
Post  Post subject: Re: Need advice for an active missionary in the field!!!  |  Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 12:56 pm
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God of Elves, Seer Stones and a Hat

Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2009 7:57 pm
Posts: 1461
Location: Bellevue, WA

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This will not fit the situation with your friend.

Nevertheless, my advice to Missionaries in the field would be to speak the truth to potential converts. For example explain to them, in the light of the following statements from Church historians and theologians:

• “The Prophet does not suggest that he confided his first vision to his family, and his mother reports only that she had early knowledge that an angel later revealed the Book of Mormon.” (BYU Studies, Smith, Lucy Mack, by Anderson, Richard Lloyd/The Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Macmillan, 1992)

• Today, LDS theologians claim that Joseph Smith discussed what was to become the 'First Vision,' “only privately with a few trusted friends during the Church’s first decade.” (Mormon Publications: 19th and 20th Centuries / A Descriptive Bibliography of the Mormon Church. Volume One, 1830-1847. (Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University, Religious Studies Center, [1997], Item 82, p. 127-29.)

• Brigham Young University historian and LDS bishop, James B. Allen said, "There is little if any evidence, however, that by the early 1830s Joseph Smith was telling the [First Vision] story in public. At least if he were telling it, no one seemed to consider it important enough to have recorded it at the time, and no one was criticizing him for it." (The Significance of Joseph Smith's First Vision in Mormon Thought, Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought, Autumn 1966, p. 30).

LDS Church historians and theologians consider Joseph Smith to be a fraud. Because Smith made up accounts claiming everyone in town knew about his "first vision" story when today we know that was not the case!

So, if potential converts want to become a member in the LDS Church, they don't need to go into it thinking they will be standing up for the truth.

_________________
My LDS Series:
http://www.richkelsey.org/lds_index.html
Rich Kelsey


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joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Need advice for an active missionary in the field!!!  |  Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 7:26 am
God of Poly-Folly

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:29 pm
Posts: 5371

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richkelsey.org wrote:
This will not fit the situation with your friend.

Nevertheless, my advice to Missionaries in the field would be to speak the truth to potential converts. For example explain to them, in the light of the following statements from Church historians and theologians:

• “The Prophet does not suggest that he confided his first vision to his family, and his mother reports only that she had early knowledge that an angel later revealed the Book of Mormon.” (BYU Studies, Smith, Lucy Mack, by Anderson, Richard Lloyd/The Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Macmillan, 1992)

• Today, LDS theologians claim that Joseph Smith discussed what was to become the 'First Vision,' “only privately with a few trusted friends during the Church’s first decade.” (Mormon Publications: 19th and 20th Centuries / A Descriptive Bibliography of the Mormon Church. Volume One, 1830-1847. (Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University, Religious Studies Center, [1997], Item 82, p. 127-29.)

• Brigham Young University historian and LDS bishop, James B. Allen said, "There is little if any evidence, however, that by the early 1830s Joseph Smith was telling the [First Vision] story in public. At least if he were telling it, no one seemed to consider it important enough to have recorded it at the time, and no one was criticizing him for it." (The Significance of Joseph Smith's First Vision in Mormon Thought, Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought, Autumn 1966, p. 30).

LDS Church historians and theologians consider Joseph Smith to be a fraud. Because Smith made up accounts claiming everyone in town knew about his "first vision" story when today we know that was not the case!

So, if potential converts want to become a member in the LDS Church, they don't need to go into it thinking they will be standing up for the truth.


Yeah, truth in this non-truth soft cult is only brainwashing truths to hold in mormon members until they are grey.

A soft cult that doesn't want LDS members to change. Encouraging them to stay just the way they are, during this time the LDS Corporation is making big big changes!

Building a new Mormon owned city in Florida is nothing. Real Estate holdings are starting to pop-up everywhere in the news it seems.

http://www.postmormon.org/exp_e/index.p ... 14/#619642

_________________
God of Poly-Folly Folly

{If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~Stevie Wonder}
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
........................ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


God of Poly-Folly Folly


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