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Dooglas
Post  Post subject: So it begins. So much for it being easy.  |  Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2016 6:21 pm
Nursery

Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2016 7:59 pm
Posts: 8

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Sent Email Letter of Resignation Wednesday. Received a letter from the Global Service Center on Saturday.

This letter informs me that the church considers this request to be an ecclesiastical matter and is forwarding my request on to the local Stake President.

I really did not want to talk to anyone let alone have someone come visit me. I have social anxiety and this is going to cause me lots of pain and suffering.

But, I guess I will make sure to not invite them in and inform them that it was really me that sent in the request and to please take care of it then close the door.

Or, perhaps I could put a note on the door labeled Bishop with a copy of my letter in it.

Or, just never answer the door again.

See, now my anxiety is kicking in. I bet that my parents come over to visit and the bishop chooses that moment to come over and confront me right in front of my parents. Catastrophesing. Boy do I hate having social anxiety. See the fun stories my brain can come up with.


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productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: So it begins. So much for it being easy.  |  Posted: Sun Aug 28, 2016 7:15 am
God

Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm
Posts: 2801
Location: NC

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Hi Dooglas,

Don't Fear them.
They Fear you.
They Fear what you know and that you carry some Apostasy cooties that they'll catch and die spiritually ... or at least wander off into sin.
Don't Fear them.
This can be the difficult part or the fun part... are you prey or a predator? Are you the sheep or are you the wolf?
You are free.
You are walking out.
They are scrambling, trying to figure out what to do.
They will try to shame you and scare you into going back, because they have no other power. You are the powerful one. All they can do is lie.

And it's to their benefit that you cower and crawl away quietly... because you look guilty and they feel justified that you just couldn't hack it... that you carry some hidden shame and had to leave ... or were told to leave or ran off so you could drink or do some other horrible sin. Your silence and your shame and your fear help them. Don't fear. You have no shame.

What you got was the first step in their multi-step process. HQ sends the form letter and forwards info to the locals. Local people do what people do and pull you off lists, giving you one (or more) last ditch chances to quit. Hoping that your fear and your misplaced respect of them makes you cower into staying in. That you'd rather remain Mormon then see the bishop one more time.

Local leaders are as private as people tend to be. They should keep it quiet because really, they don't want others to know. HQ is scared and HQ knows about the attrition. They know that the records name many more people then local attendance numbers show. They know how many leave ... and they see the reasons people complain about and they see the trends. It's ugly for them.

Don't fear them. They fear you.

Your parents... you're not a child. You're an adult. You are making the decision that they need to make as well. You can do this. The cost is front loaded, meaning you loose a bunch of fake friends right away but in the long term you make new friends and more real because they like you for who you are, not because they were assigned to spend time with you. The payoff is a long term thing. Have courage.

Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: So it begins. So much for it being easy.  |  Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2016 8:19 am
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

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I have written many times about the resignation process being easy from an administration point of view, and so it is. Of course no-one here will ever underestimate the challenges that resigning can bring emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and from the re-assessments of expectations within a family/ BYU/ work situation.

poc has your back covered, and I certainly hope that this will proceed well and manangeably for you.

Have you considered CBT? It could really help with your anxiety.

Let us know how things are going. It'll be over soon.

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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mufasapenny
Post  Post subject: Re: So it begins. So much for it being easy.  |  Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2016 6:20 pm
Sunbeam

Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2016 8:36 pm
Posts: 41

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trust the process and let it happen.it only took 2 weeks for me.i am happy as a clam.like others have said they will just want to get it done.they dont want you talking to others and revealing the lies of the religion.i feel god more now than i have in the 2 years i was in the church.


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Dooglas
Post  Post subject: Re: So it begins. So much for it being easy.  |  Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2016 7:29 pm
Nursery

Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2016 7:59 pm
Posts: 8

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:) Got my letter today!

Here is my timeline:
Sent email August 24, 2016
Received confirmation letter August 27, 2016
Received final removal notice September 8, 2016

No one contacted me other than these two letters.

The letter is a bit lackluster. I was hoping for a nice certificate with signatures that would look nice in a frame. My Grandmother's notice that she received back in the 60s looks much nicer with signatures and everything.

It was easy after all.


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: So it begins. So much for it being easy.  |  Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2016 2:42 am
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

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Congrats! I am very happy for you.

I guess back in the day, it was more rare. Now with so many resigning every day, they simply would run out of biro ink. And they don't want to put effort into recognising a resignation or make it look special.

But it is very special and you have a whole life to live. :-D

Let us know if the Board can offer you a hand :)

Thanks for letting everyone know :)

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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teoma2
Post  Post subject: Re: So it begins. So much for it being easy.  |  Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2016 8:06 am
God of Mythbusters

Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:30 am
Posts: 4787
Location: Kolobian Lowlands

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So Granny helped to lead the way out?

_________________
"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."


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