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peaches2011
Post  Post subject: Husbands getting cold feet  |  Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 5:52 pm
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Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:40 pm
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Location: Utah

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I started writing my letter ( I'm just that kind of person that likes to hand write stuff...) and my husband tells me not to do anything just yet. He is terrified of the backlash, we both are, but he wants to resign too. I've made my choice that I just don't care what anyone says anymore. If my friends are really my friends they'll love me no matter what and if they turn their backs on me they were never real friends in the first place. It will be painful but it has to be done and that way I'll know who my friends are. My husband though is worried still. He hasn't got past that point of not caring. Just not really sure what I can say to him.

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Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything.
Maybe it's about unbecoming everything that isn't really you,
so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.
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Rainfeather
Post  Post subject: Re: Husbands getting cold feet  |  Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 6:41 pm
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When I was still too nervous to resign, I just kept studying at much as I could. Once I realized 100% that the Church was simply not 'true,' then my sense of honesty and integrity simply wouldn't let me stay anymore. I completely lost any fear of resigning.

I don't know how he'd react, but you could point out that as long as he's on the records of the Church, then he's basically endorsing what they teach, including their bigotry. Only you know him well enough to know if that would help, or hurt.

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"A mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes


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joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Husbands getting cold feet  |  Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 6:11 am
God of Poly-Folly

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:29 pm
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peaches2011 wrote:
I started writing my letter ( I'm just that kind of person that likes to hand write stuff...) and my husband tells me not to do anything just yet. He is terrified of the backlash, we both are, but he wants to resign too. I've made my choice that I just don't care what anyone says anymore. If my friends are really my friends they'll love me no matter what and if they turn their backs on me they were never real friends in the first place. It will be painful but it has to be done and that way I'll know who my friends are. My husband though is worried still. He hasn't got past that point of not caring. Just not really sure what I can say to him.

Now, if I was FLDS and wrote the same title, Wives Getting Cold Feet, everybody would chuckle.

Let him go at his own rate, lol, just keep nudging him along. You both can go to a Christ centered real Christian Church and tell em your story, his story. You then get the chance to tell of how maybe you both dared to stand for honesty, truth, integrity and strength, and how nobody could be an obstacle. I know a great latter-day guy that gave up a thriving real estate business, (?Mormons buy LDS homes, dontchaknow) and rebuilt it from scratch.

And if no relationship with any type of religion suites your needs for right now or forever almost every previously Mormon person understands.

Somehow ya gotta let your guy back into the drivers seat. Look at it this way. I just got kicked off of the PostMormon Forums for taking up for children, taking up for persons in dangerously camouflaged cult-like, situations. I am a Christian and the atheist moderators are just dying for a their chance to rule with an iron fist over there. What I'm saying is let him take the hit for truth let him feel the sting for doing what is right. It feels so sweet you don't want to try and take his chance away, do you?

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=52001

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God of Poly-Folly Folly

{If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~Stevie Wonder}
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
........................ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


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productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: Husbands getting cold feet  |  Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 10:27 am
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Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm
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Hey Peaches,

One way of dealing with worry is to list out all the concerns. "Backlash"? From whom? In what form? Causing what effect? With what probability? If that happens, can you handle it? What steps can be taken to limit the liability? Which concerns are irrelevant?

Some concerns, like a job concern, might be countered by equal employment legislation. Some friends, like loosing them over church, might be accepted as you did by saying, "Then they aren't real friends".

Spell it all out. Get it all on the table. Look at each outcome. Decide if you can deal with it, do you risk it, can you mitigate it or whether y'all have to bow to it.

But stop bowing to ambiguous fears.

Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


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