View unanswered posts
View active topics
It is currently Thu Apr 27, 2017 10:29 pm


Author Message
Piperpup
Post  Post subject: Resignation questions  |  Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 10:31 pm
Nursery

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2015 9:55 pm
Posts: 3

Offline
Hello to ALL! My story: About a year ago my wife and I decided to join the church. I am bipolar, and sometimes make bad choices. Being in a serious depression at that time, I hastily joined thinking being in community might help. My mind is clearer now, and I want out. My wife is very happy with her decision. I will support her 100%, and will not try to ever change her mind, because her decision to join brings her peace and happiness.
My question(s) is; why do we have to go through all this BS of resignation? I was born into a Catholic family, and when I chose to stop going,that was it, nobody seemed to notice. With the Mormons it seems that they think they have all kind of legal rights over you. To me I don't feel that I should have to do anything, I am just not a Mormon anymore. I am about to write my letter of resignation, should I send it to the bishop, or to the Records Dept. in Salt Lake? From your experiences, will the church treat my wife badly because of my decision, or try to have her leave me because to them, I am an apostate? Some more history, I am a Quaker, and have started going back to the Meetinghouse. In my registration letter should I state that it is o.k. for the missionaries and teachers to come to our house, but do not send anyone to try to "save my soul"?
Sorry for the length of this post, but it seems so confusing and a waste of time to go through this whole process of leaving. I don't remember signing anything making me legally bound to them. Thank you for your considerations, and I hope someone has some answers to help me through this process!


Top
joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Resignation questions  |  Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 2:13 am
God of Poly-Folly

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:29 pm
Posts: 5042

Offline
Hi Piperpup,
We're here for your increased posture. Not sure you need it yet? You do.

What you need after that is to love your wife. Spend that posture well!

Welcome to the healing grounds, welcome home!

_________________
God of Poly-Folly Folly

{ If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~ Stevie Wonder }
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
........................ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


God of Poly-Folly Folly


Top
Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: Resignation questions  |  Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 5:41 am
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1668
Location: England

Offline
Hello. I think, just do what is right for you and for your wife right now. And, hey, you can always down the line, refine that decision and do what is right for you at a future time can't you. No hassle. If you are not committed to resigning you could always become inactive, because you know in your heart where you are with God. But it will depend a lot on how your wife and how the bishopric hear you. Best outcome....your wife supports your decision to be inactive and so do the ward/branch. This may be tricky because your wife may be made to feel by the doctrine that she is not good enough because you are not practising your priesthood as you should do. It depends upon her strength to resist this and not become resentful towards you.

If you wish to resign email msr-confrec@ldschurch.org Keep it short.

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


Top
Infymus
Post  Post subject: Re: Resignation questions  |  Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 8:48 am
User avatar
Founder

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 7:30 am
Posts: 2147
Location: Utah

Offline
Piperpup wrote:
My question(s) is; why do we have to go through all this BS of resignation?


Because if you don't, you will be tracked as a member for the rest of your life. If you move anywhere in the world and there is a Mormon ward house there, you will be a target. Your records will always be transferred to the ward house that is closest to you - this is done automatically once they find out where you live. If are are listed as inactive/missing, then all attempts will be made to track you down. They will do this by reverse mail, contacting family, last known address, google searches and more. And once they find you - you will be contacted by local ward members, be that Bishops, Stake Presidents, home teachers, visiting teachers or even ward members. The contact and attempts to reactivate you will never stop. NEVER STOP. The only way to stop this is to resign.

Quote:
I am about to write my letter of resignation, should I send it to the bishop, or to the Records Dept. in Salt Lake?


Only send your letter to Salt Lake. It needs to contain your full legal name, date of birth and full address. They will send that notice to your local ward - so yes, your wife is going to find out. If she is OK with you leaving, then no problem. Usually there isn't an attempt to get spouses to leave the marriage. I have only seen that under very extreme circumstances (like hard core TBMs). That doesn't sound like your situation.

_________________
Read: MormonCurtain. Resign: MormonResignation. Recover: ExMormonForums.


Top
productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: Resignation questions  |  Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 9:51 am
God

Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm
Posts: 2752
Location: NC

Offline
Hi Piper,

Welcome!

I'm curious the reasons for leaving? There are lots of good reasons and maybe, if you are unsure, a bit more research is in order. And it could go along with a conversation like, "Honey, something doesn't feel right about the Mormon church ... something about them is bothering me and I'm going to do some digging." and a follow-up like, "I think I was hasty in joining, I've found some things that are disturbing ... have you every heard about ___? "

Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


Top
Piperpup
Post  Post subject: Re: Resignation questions  |  Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 3:26 pm
Nursery

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2015 9:55 pm
Posts: 3

Offline
Hi! Thank you for some great advice. My wife already knows the I am leaving the church, and supports my decision. This is a definitive decision, no sitting on the fence wondering which way to go. Reasons I why I am leaving: First off, I am a committed Pacifist, been Vegan for forty years, despise war, the death penalty etc. When I ask why the church condones war and killing, I get ambiguous answers. The straw that broke the camels back was their proclamation last week making children suffer if one of their parents are gay. There are so many doctrinal issues that are bigoted, hurtful to others, and self centered to their gains. They prove time and time again that they are not a church of love. Most of the people that I have met in the ward are very nice people, and I honor that. I could go on and on about the reasons I am leaving, but I am sure most of you here have been down the same road.
As far as becoming inactive, not an option! I recently read someone say, "You can't leave one foot in the door, and the other foot on the outside". You are right, what good is it to just become inactive and still be hounded by them for the rest of my life.
I do have another question. Why is it recommended that you have the letter of resignation notarized before sending it?
Thank you all so much for your help, and look forward for more insight in all of this!


Top
Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: Resignation questions  |  Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 5:01 pm
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1668
Location: England

Offline
I wish you very well and I hope that your resignation will not prove troublesome in your marriage and that your wife will be able to be strong. One year is not very long. They say it takes 4 years to make a Mormon.
Above all, please look after your health. The inactivity thing is not a big issue in England, If you are in Utah, I guess it is much more troublesome. If you know who you are in yourself, no acknowledgement from any other source will matter.
I do not regret having resigned because I wanted to distance myself in every way that I could. However, I do regret the strain that it caused me and sometimes I wonder what that was all for. I just don't want you to hurt more over them. The cult is not worth it.

The difficulty you may face in your approach is that it is simply not really viable to support each others views when they are diametrically opposed to each other. You may wish to research the church's position on eternal marriage and the Temple rituals.

I do not know anyone who has ever notarized any resignation letter.

It is awesome that you have been vegan for so long. I admire that so much. You may be interested to know that the church also owns and operates game reserves for hunting. I was so shocked when I found that out.

http://www.vegsource.com/articles/catano_hunting.htm

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


Top
Piperpup
Post  Post subject: Re: Resignation questions  |  Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2015 12:17 am
Nursery

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2015 9:55 pm
Posts: 3

Offline
Thank you all for your valuable information and understanding. You have been a great help. As far as my wife is concerned, there is no problem there, she is a loving and supporting woman. I know that if they treat her differently when I leave, she will not tolerate it, and join me in leaving. My convictions have always been very strong, and I will not tolerate some self serving organization from trying to "break" me from them. I cannot support an organization that writes doctrines such as 11 and 12 in The Articles of Faith, and then come across as omnipotent and don" adhere to them as so many other doctrines.
Melanie, thank you for your supportive message in your last post. I am most grateful for you and everybody else for your empathy and compassion. Look forward to more interaction with you all as time goes by. I will keep you posted on how the process goes in the future.
THANK YOU ALL!!


Top
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Print view

Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
Jump to:   
cron

Delete all board cookies | The team | All times are UTC - 7 hours [ DST ]

Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group.