View unanswered posts
View active topics
It is currently Sun Oct 22, 2017 10:00 pm


Author Message
braveheart
Post  Post subject: New convert wanting out  |  Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 6:11 am
Nursery

Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2017 6:04 am
Posts: 2

Offline
Hey, I'm a fairly new convert to the LDS church, I was baptized 6 months ago and investigated it for about 4 weeks. Since being baptized I've felt stressed, anxious and annoyed about going and the constant intrusion of other members into my life. I've only been to church about 4 times since being baptized and I felt uncomfortable about being there most of those times. I now haven't been for a month and dont want to go again. All I'm getting is phone calls and SMS from other members wanting to know how I'm going, why haven't i been to church etc. The reason I stopped going is because of all the weird stuff I've found out since being baptized. The missionaries told me a whole lot of simple, easy to understand stuff in their lessons and now BAM! I'm finding out that the church has a lot of weird stuff in its doctrine that no-one bothers to tell you about when you're investigating. There are some very nice people in my ward and I'm going to miss the social aspect of the church but I feel ripped off that I got talked into signing up for "membership" to something that didn't provide me with full disclosure at the time. Part of me doesn't feel at all bad about wanting to leave because I wasn't given the full information about the church when I signed up, like polygamy and about God's physical relationship with Mary to have Jesus. I am actually in shock about that one, I only found out about it this morning and cannot believe that such a fundamental part of LDS doctrine was never told to me either before or in the weeks after my baptism.

When I joined I felt that it was the right thing to do but it was all very rushed and I felt pushed into making that decision. I have had a very tough couple of years so joining such a happy, friendly church with so many nice welcoming people seemed like a breath of fresh air. I can now see that so many of the "friendships" I thought i had there aren't really "friendships".

I can honestly say that the past few months have been amongst the most stressful of my life, trying to deal with this church and being made to feel guilty every time I don't go.

This is all causing me so much stress. I wish I'd waited at least 6 months as an investigator instead of just a few weeks. I felt so pressured to get baptized but wish now that I'd waited and found out as much a I could about the church before committing to it. I didn't make an informed decision, I made a decision based on what the church chooses to OMIT from its lessons :(


Last edited by braveheart on Thu May 04, 2017 4:09 am, edited 1 time in total.


Top
productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: New convert wanting out  |  Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 7:54 am
God

Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm
Posts: 2801
Location: NC

Offline
Hi Braveheart,

Welcome! And yeah, you didn't get full disclosure. Odds are the missionaries don't have full disclosure themselves. These odd things didn't get talked about when I was a member, well maybe just a few of them are known by those old timers who actually read some of the old writings. They discourage research from outside sources and the inside sources present a carefully groomed history of just the facts that fit their stories. But there's much more and for many years people who have exposed this have faced being called "Anti" and even excommunication.

I know that when my wife and I left that we lost almost all of those "friends" who would not see past the fact that we were no longer LDS. That we lost touch with many people we had known for years. In our case it damaged relationships with family members, more so with mine as hers are more of truth seekers.

WRT Tithing, that won't be a big issue except during 2 common events. 1 is a temple recommend interview where that will be a question. 2 is an annual (in Dec or Jan usually) tithing settlement meeting where they will ask. Other than that, they don't tend to look at the numbers and ask you to hurry up and pay up.

Keep learning, there's tons to uncover. So much from reputable sources with solid documentation that the LDS themselves have begun to expose it themselves on their own website hoping to provide that first spin of the info. But like you point out with polygamy, how is it ok for Joseph Smith to have 20+ wives, some sisters, some mother-daughter, some currently married (like Mary Elizabeth Lightner Rollins) years before D&C Section 132 was published in the books and during years when the old Book of Commandments and D&C denied polygamy and called it a crime?

Anyway, it's fascinating stuff. I'm glad your eyes have been opened, it gives me fresh hope that my parents can run into that same sort of thing.

Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


Top
joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: New convert wanting out  |  Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 8:07 am
God of Poly-Folly

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:29 pm
Posts: 5335

Offline
Hi braveheart,
You got conned, and it's not at all that easy to avoid sometimes. I mean, it's a Church, right? What happened to transparency and forthcoming delivery of the facts? You know how when you're buying something as major as a house or something your are always always supposed to ask if there is anything you should know?

What you now know is these is some slick (sic) salespeople! Awkward situation you have there bravehart, we'll be able to soften the blow a little bit I hope.

We're all Mormon (well, were LDS) and good clean and happy peeps too.

Immunized now, I'd guess you could say. Vaccinated against slick sales pitching!

This crap that they're putting out again for Easter called #PrinceOfPeace is superbly fine BS anyone could fall prey to.

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=51269&sid=e5252e75ba4098ca1f085fa174c22ffb#p130624

.

_________________
God of Poly-Folly Folly

{If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~Stevie Wonder}
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
........................ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


God of Poly-Folly Folly


Top
teoma2
Post  Post subject: Re: New convert wanting out  |  Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 8:31 am
God of Mythbusters

Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:30 am
Posts: 4787
Location: Kolobian Lowlands

Offline
First off, welcome to the Forums Braveheart. Nice to have you join this group of supportive people who went through similar experiences. You are not alone here in your exiting and sometimes the best lessons in life are the ones that are self learned. Like yours in this case. What knowledge you have amassed is yours to use as you deem fit in your new journey towards more freedom of thought. Congrats for seeing it for what it is, nothing more than a culturally isolated business masquerading itself as a church, selling god.

_________________
"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."


Top
braveheart
Post  Post subject: Re: New convert wanting out  |  Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 9:35 pm
Nursery

Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2017 6:04 am
Posts: 2

Offline
Thanks everyone for responding.

Is it actually true that the church teaches Jesus had several wives (3 I believe)? I found that out last night and can't believe that all four of the NT gospels don't mention anything about this.

The polygamy thing is concerning me because no-one at church wants to talk about it but it's still in the D&C. I get that it's no longer practised, but if it's still doctrine surely it should be something that's taught to new members as part of the church's history. I think they don't mention it because, same as God having physical relations with Mary, it's less than palatable and would put people off from joining the LDS church.

They also didn't teach me about eternal polygamy but that's something I've since found out and tried to discuss in my lessons at church. I wish I'd known about this one before getting baptized. In all honesty I would NEVER have made such a commitment if I'd known about all this stuff - at the very least it would have been nice to have ALL the information presented to me and I could have then made an informed decision. I feel as though my right as an adult to make an informed decision was taken away from me by the church because there's just so much that they omit whilst pressuring me at the same time for me to get baptized.

So, it will be Sunday again in a few days and as per usual I'm not wanting to go to church and am thinking of excuses to get out of it (because there'll be a ton of phone calls and text messages from members finding out why I haven't gone).... I'm sick of making up excuses to get out of going to church.

I feel disappointed in myself (if that makes sense) because I thought I was making a commitment and a good decision. I feel confused that I could have actually been baptized into the LDS church without knowing much about it. It's made me question my own judgement and part of me is disappointed in myself that after only a few months I've already broken that commitment.

I will miss the nice people at church but (again) I'm questioning my judgement as I'm now starting to realize they were only conditional friendships, not true friendships. I suspect when I stop going completely they will all shut me off and that is hurtful.


Last edited by braveheart on Thu May 04, 2017 4:12 am, edited 2 times in total.


Top
productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: New convert wanting out  |  Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 7:34 am
God

Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm
Posts: 2801
Location: NC

Offline
Hi Braveheart,

Good and trusting people get fooled every day. There's no shame in that. Stubborn pigheaded people don't accept that they were fooled ... You're not that kind of person so smile :)

I ended up divorced from my time and all eternity wife. 5 years down that road and I met another lady and we married civilly. The idea was to get sealed in the temple once all the hoops were jumped through because we both had previous temple marriages. The way it would have worked out is that I would have been civilly married to my current wife and sealed to both women. Crazy huh?

It's not the only time and only way that polygamy, in a way, goes on today. It's just not the kind that the government cares about. What's pretty common is that a man outlives his wife and remarries. That second marriage is sealed and the first sealing is never annulled. In that situation the man is sealed to 2 women and the promises of D&C 132 apply (though it's not much talked about). There are I think 2 people in the Quorum of the 12 like this.

WRT The way the LDS chase after you, it's somewhere between courtship and the desperate last efforts of a guy getting ditched. Once upon a time it seemed flattering. Now, depending on whether they appeal to you or repulse you, it might be seen as pathetic or at least annoying.

Anyway, what happened is you were fooled. What's exciting and interesting is what you do about it. There are tons of choices.

Peace

If you are interested in really peeling back the cover on the LDS, there is a good site,MormonThink, that hits the key topics from both angles discussing both sides of the issue. It also does a great job at providing references.

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


Top
joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: New convert wanting out  |  Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 7:45 am
God of Poly-Folly

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:29 pm
Posts: 5335

Offline
braveheart wrote:

I feel disappointed in myself (if that makes sense) because I thought I was making a commitment and a good decision. I feel confused that I could have actually been baptized into the LDS church without knowing much about it. It's made me question my own judgement and part of me is disappointed in myself that after only a few months I've already broken that commitment.



Alright, what's up with this? If this LDS church (sm C) were legitimate you would be able to take your box of stale potato chips back to where you purchased them for a refund. But alas, it is not legitimate nor a retail outlet selling a bona fide product.

There is possibly only one thing from here on out you probably don't have but you might want to be aware of. Make sure you aren't attracted to chaos. Make sure confusion and unrest wasn't part of your upbringing, and even if it was you must resist associating something like that with comfort or security or love.

Make sure you're not feeling dependant on having crooks and liars and deceptive thieves in your new life. Especially those with sugary sing songy mannerisms.

_________________
God of Poly-Folly Folly

{If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~Stevie Wonder}
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
........................ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


God of Poly-Folly Folly


Top
Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: New convert wanting out  |  Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 4:11 pm
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

Offline
Braveheart,

I understand how you feel about the doctrine that Heavenly Father had physical sex with Mary to conceive Jesus. I was in shock about that too. And it is correct about their belief about Jesus' wives,there is even a poster of it.

What I want to say is please don't feel bad about yourself that you were baptised. You responded to something that you saw and felt at that time and now you have different information and you can understand matters in that more complete light now and that will undoubtedly lead to different choices. That is exactly as it should be and actually takes a great deal of courage so I believe that you have every reason to feel very confident in your reasoning and judgements. You are showing integrity. Life is a journey and understanding this sort of area takes a lot of time and some readjusting along the way.

All of the love that you were showing to God, you can still show to Him without the particular structure of an LDS experience. That is key I believe. And good parts of your experience you can take with you, because your love was/is for God, not for the organisation.

In England, a couple of Sundays ago was Mothering Sunday. That was interesting for me, my first such day in the Church when I found out about Heavenly Mother for the first time. How I survived that day, I really don't know, but survive it I did and I am glad I was LDS and glad that I am no longer, whilst at the same time appreciating all that I became that was good through it all, because that attitude I believe is really the very best way to live.

You chose your name for here didn't you! I'd say that gives you all the information you need. You are going to be fine, God Speed :)

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


Top
Scousette1
Post  Post subject: Re: New convert wanting out  |  Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2017 5:03 am
Nursery

Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2014 4:14 pm
Posts: 21

Offline
1) Please be kind to yourself and stop the beating up. Understandable totally your feelings of betrayal - they're very plausible people. Nice enough individuals but they've been processed to process you into their organisation. As others have noticed, if you've done some research, you'll be in possession of a lot of information the mishies have never been exposed to.
2) Keep your cash in the bank and don't hand any of it over to them. You'll salvage a lot of self respect by not completely falling for the con.
3)Give yourself a big pat on the back for recognising this pile of tut for what it really is.
4) Do something fun on Sunday & if anyone tries to put pressure on you to waste time sat around their meeting house, politely tell them to jog on.


Top
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Print view

Who is online
Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 6 guests
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
Jump to:   


Delete all board cookies | The team | All times are UTC - 7 hours [ DST ]

Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group.