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sealingneedtobefree
  Post  Post subject: Sealed to my Ex-husband for Eternity???  |  Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 2:47 am
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I was born and raised Mormon. All of my family and extended family members (both sides) are STILL very devout Mormons. The majority of my friends were Mormon. I got married at 18 and sealed in the Temple for eternity. All my friends were doing it. Who in the world actually knows what they want for eternity at 18 years of age? I received two beautiful children and an lying, cheating, now ex-husband. WE divorced after 5 years. I tried to stay a faithful member of the church inspite of the downfall of what it is to be a single mother in the Single adult wards. The Bishop of the single adults told me he considered me "the widow of the ward". WOW...Really???

I have been an inactive member of the LDS church for the last 13 years. There are some good things about the religion that helped mold the person I am today. I'm grateful for learning to serve others. It wasn't until after I took a step away from the church after being divorced from my ex husband, who I was sealed in the temple, had two beautiful children that I realized the hypocrisy and brainwashing I experienced growing up! How could I have not seen it before? I now finally see why people call this religion a "cult". When you're in the middle of a cult, you don't see what is happening to you. It is only once you take those sweet steps out into the real world and choose to critically think for yourself that the writing on the wall becomes clear! It was very difficult for me to be around my Mormon family members and friends. I could see clearly now that their religion engulfs every part of their being. Not one conversation I could have with my parents without some mention of the church. Not one. The guilt, anger, and grief I felt walking away from family and friends was unbearable. I had to distance myself for quite some time to find out who the real me was. I felt like my whole like was a brainwashing session. I truly believe with all the service work and callings the Mormon church keeps people so busy they cannot even think about walking away. Thank God I got divorced, I don't know that I would've escaped! I cannot think of one Mormon friend that was sealed in the temple that has divorced so I have no one to talk to about this. As a young adult, I had difficulty making my own decisions. Do you know why? Everything was decided for me in Mormon culture. They told us we had choice and accountability, but really there was no choice when raised in a devout Mormon family. We were expected to participate in FHE, seminary, temple sealing, Bible and BOM reading, dinner prayers, and service.

I moved with my husband to a different city, within a year the Mormon missionaries were on my doorstep and coming onto my lawn stating, "We're visiting members of the ward." I felt like I was being stalked. This is a scary feeling and not right to do to people. If I had the desire to attend church, I would have done so on my own accord. I did not provide anyone my forwarding address nor did I permit my family to forward my address. I even asked my actively Mormon family members. No one admitted to giving the Mormon church my address. How creepy?! I was happily remarried in a new home, new town, and wonderful new husband. Yes, Non-Mormons can be happy and not feel guilty for their entire existence! After being very clear I wanted nothing to do with the Mormon church, I had Missionaries and church members knocking on my door asking my new spouse to speak to my Ex-husband!!! Please note this happened several times. Please keep in mind, we were legally divorced over 15 years ago. It was very concerning to me that they would still be connecting me with my Ex-husband when he had no connection to my home and had not ever lived with me there! The difficulty explaining to my current husband that I’m still sealed to my ex-husband for eternity??? In 2012 I finally had enough of being pestered by the Mormons not listening to my requests to leave me alone. I did my due diligence and looked up how to get my name removed from the church and hopefully end the madness. I found a sample letter online. I wrote the letter. It took me all day and night. I never sent it because my mother (devout Mormon) had cancer again and I could not do that to her when she was fighting for her life. It's not until recently that the feeling of not being free is weighing heavily on my heart for myself and my husband. I'm ready. I'm ready to send that letter now! I must send that letter now. Why did I wait so long?

Does anyone know if sending a formal resignation letter to the church will truly break the sealing of Temple Marriage? When I got divorced I was told that temple divorces cannot happen when you have children involved, so I shrugged my shoulders and moved forward. Even if they won't let me be free, I will consider myself free as long as I SEND THAT LETTER!
I feel at peace just getting this off my heart and mind...Thank you for being around and listening:)


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joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Getting Unsealed to my Ex-husband for Eternity???  |  Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 8:13 am
God of Poly-Folly

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:29 pm
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sealingneedtobefree wrote:
"...It's not until recently that the feeling of not being free is weighing heavily on my heart for myself and my husband. I'm ready. I'm ready to send that letter now! I must send that letter now. Why did I wait so long?

Does anyone know if sending a formal resignation letter to the church will truly break the sealing of Temple Marriage? When I got divorced I was told that temple divorces cannot happen when you have children involved, so I shrugged my shoulders and moved forward. Even if they won't let me be free, I will consider myself free as long as I SEND THAT LETTER!
I feel at peace just getting this off my heart and mind...Thank you for being around and listening:) "


Oh, you're free, the letter of name removal does it all. You are no longer a member or even a name in the Church, not Scientology and certainly not of Mormonism and what possibly could be inside of your head to make you think you were? You have no chance of being on a registry where you do not belong. That would be a mistake, an error, an incorrectly administered listing with your name. They do not own your name, you do. It is your title, not theirs. You own it.

The law protects you immensely.

_________________
God of Poly-Folly Folly

{If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~Stevie Wonder}
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
........................ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


God of Poly-Folly Folly


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sealingneedtobefree
Post  Post subject: Re: Sealed to my Ex-husband for Eternity???  |  Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 9:17 am
Nursery

Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2017 8:02 pm
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Thank you for your reply!


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joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Unsealed to my Ex-husband for Eternity???  |  Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 10:53 am
God of Poly-Folly

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:29 pm
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sealingneedtobefree wrote:
Thank you for your reply!


Glad to help with any possibly unsettled feelings, you're gonna mail it on 1.7.17 right? That's cute, you'll never ever be able to forget that dated letter or e-mail resignation date!

And here's the quaint followup with both of the Guinn 1989, and Hancock 1985 key decision court cases winning lawsuits and rewards paid out by Mormonism and their boundary crossing ways. http://www.mormonnomore.com/legal-precedent

Y'know what, nothing really causes the Mormon leadership to repent and say that they are sorry.

Cult, soft cult, secretive occult, it's really terrible terrible stuff. Christians typically look for opportunities to repent, I don't think anybody Mormon "get's" that huge point.

Can not barely wait for the SLC Mormonism Believe-It-Or-Not Ripley's Museum, to maybe soon open in Utah one day. Since it still remains so shocking and almost unbelievable.

_________________
God of Poly-Folly Folly

{If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~Stevie Wonder}
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
........................ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


God of Poly-Folly Folly


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sealingneedtobefree
Post  Post subject: Re: Sealed to my Ex-husband for Eternity???  |  Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 2:18 pm
Nursery

Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2017 8:02 pm
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I just sent the email with my resignation and boy do I feel a huge weight lifted from my shoulders!!!! I just worry it will be traumatic to my parents but I needed this for my husband and I. Thank you for helping me solve something I could not figure out how to do!!! I have not been able to find another situation similar to mine and hoping I help someone else who is struggling with be sealed to their ex-spouse.

Freedom at last...:)


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joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Unsealed to my Ex-husband for Eternity???  |  Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 3:48 pm
God of Poly-Folly

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:29 pm
Posts: 5423

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sealingneedtobefree wrote:
I just sent the email with my resignation and boy do I feel a huge weight lifted from my shoulders!!!! I just worry it will be traumatic to my parents but I needed this for my husband and I. Thank you for helping me solve something I could not figure out how to do!!! I have not been able to find another situation similar to mine and hoping I help someone else who is struggling with be sealed to their ex-spouse.

Freedom at last...:)


OMG yes, no longer any control over you and your name. And you can suggest that all of the LDS leadership in no way contact any family members about all of this. Throw some fear, guilt and shame at them in regards to keeping everything in line, lol, that's about all that they understand.

And try and maintain a lifetime filled with motivation built with only want and love, yeah the stuff that helped to get Jesus his cross of torture and nails.

_________________
God of Poly-Folly Folly

{If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~Stevie Wonder}
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
........................ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


God of Poly-Folly Folly


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teoma2
Post  Post subject: Re: Sealed to my Ex-husband for Eternity???  |  Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:38 am
God of Mythbusters

Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:30 am
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Sealingneedtobefree, glad you had the tenacity to break free. Don't feel bad about the time you were pawned, It wasn't all that bad when you consider that budding Scientologists get to sign a billion year contract with their corporation.

_________________
"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."


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Abinadi
Post  Post subject: Re: Sealed to my Ex-husband for Eternity???  |  Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:07 pm
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Greetings and Be of Good Cheer, Sealingneedtobefree. Sheesh, what you have been through! A lot of us can relate to a lot of it. The anger, self-doubt, embarrassment, the awareness that it takes time to get over these things, to figure out what went wrong, why you even got involved in the first place, and how to end it (the communications from the church) all. The one thing I never experienced, and which I imagine is rare, and I certainly hope it is rare, is having church-people come to your husband and tell him to talk to your long-ago meandering ex-husband. Where's that coming from! That's just crazy as hell.

Yes, it's good that you took the steps to make the divorce - between you and "The Church" - final. I often wondered if my "sealing" was unsealed. No children were involved. I heard that my exwife remarried, but not that she resealed. But I did have my membership cancelled, so maybe that's enough. I don't care. They are a pretend religion. No, that's not fair. Many people possess a genuine faith in the more stable doctrines - love, do good, etc. That part is real religion - "true religion before man and God." But, for me, the knowing leaders, not blind but blinding others, they must be the objects of my . . . "dissatisfaction," of my . . . "disappointment," of, as God would say, my scorn, wrath, ridicule and contempt. Sadly, I know too much about them, about what they have said, about what they have done.

You, too, have learned, and I'm sure as you keep going, even without trying, you will discover things you hadn't realized before. I am surprised to see new things every year, that I didn't know before. But once you've taken the step you have, you've already seen how spiritually liberating it is. That's no cliche. It's real.

Congratulations on your "eternal progress" because you are now finally progressing in a much better direction.


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productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: Sealed to my Ex-husband for Eternity???  |  Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2017 11:19 am
God

Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm
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Hi sealingneedtobefree,

Welcome!

My story is a little like yours. Raised LDS, married my high school sweet heart in the temple. Ended up divorced from my eternal companion.

Issue is that it's a legal divorce, not a temple divorce, so theologically that marriage continues even through legally it doesn't.

I remained LDS. I remained active. I took kids to church every Sunday and worked in the single adults groups. Not many men stay active in that situation but I did, even though the LDS family wards really service families and seem lost when it comes to broken families.

I attended a singles event and met a lady, we hit it off, wanted to marry in the temple. Her ex was excommunicated. Mine not so, but probably could have been if she had tried to be active, instead she just quit going.

We wanted to marry in the temple but to do so it would have required letters to and from our Ex's giving permission for us to marry again, as D&C 121 states. It would have involved them in our choices. We were counseled to marry temporally and get sealed later when/if permission was worked.

So we did. I was married to D while sealed to L ... very strange.

It was a few months after we married that we learned what a pile of $hit the LDS church is and began working to leave it. In the middle though, one tense night while my wife was done and I was in, I asked if she would still want to go to the temple. She asked if it was a deal breaker? I replied, "I don't know." Because at that point it was that big of a deal to the two of us.

Had we remained devote, I would have been sealed to both D and L concurrently. Modern spiritual polygamy.

There once was a time when her past was our present and my past was our present and it did sting.

We now declare that the LDS church is false and that the ordinances that they claim are completely powerless over our lives. That in no way are we bound by the promises or ceremonies or LDS ordinances. We are not bound by their lies. They do not bind me to my ex nor my wife to her ex. We are free to commit to each other completely.

A side issue. You have resigned. I don't know how old your kids were. I had 3 kids with my ex and my wife had some with her ex. They are not automatically thrown in with our resignation and being minors, they could not resign on their own (we learned the hard way when years later they got visited / called a few times and we found out why). So if yours were every baptized/confirmed, that's a process that (should require) requires both parents to authorize and for them to resign requires both parents to sign the resignation letter... or at least that was the case a few years ago.


Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


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