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Apollo1969
Post  Post subject: wife is a member  |  Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2016 12:15 pm
Nursery

Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2016 12:02 pm
Posts: 1

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Hello, My wife became a Mormon about 8 years ago, ( I am not a member).
Last night we were discussing religious topics, and the conversation went a little south.
I asked her to let me know one aspect of our marriage that has improved because of her beliefs, no answer. But then she brought up how when she was baptized I signed a form that said I went along with the baptism process with the Mormons.
I was speechless, she was baptized one week after my Mother died, and that entire time of my life I do not remember. I went to the ceremony just to get out and do something different, but signing a permission form ????? Is that normal in this church ? That just completely floored me, so her getting so involved with this religion is partially my doing ? Thank you for any insights, and comments.


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richkelsey.org
Post  Post subject: Re: wife is a member  |  Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2016 3:29 pm
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God of Elves, Seer Stones and a Hat

Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2009 7:57 pm
Posts: 1461
Location: Bellevue, WA

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Apollo1969!

I do not know the answer to your question; but, I do know if you can involve your wife in some careful studies, it may improve aspects of your marriage.
My suggestion is to go through my series of Family Home Evening Lessons, starting with lesson # 1: http://richkelsey.org/lds_family_home_evening.html

It has material from trusted LDS sources; and, it is based on a study from BYU.

When I took two Mormon missionaries through the study the tension in the room got so high my dog started chewing on his dog bed. That was because they were unwilling to receive the truth!

Another good article: http://richkelsey.org/joseph_smith's_first_vision.htm

Please read the articles, knowledge can lead to freedom & a better life for both you & her.

_________________
My LDS Series:
http://www.richkelsey.org/lds_index.html
Rich Kelsey


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: wife is a member  |  Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2016 6:01 am
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

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I feel for you. I wish you could speak with my dad. There is no form, in England anyhow, that a husband must sign to say he permits his wife to be baptised. My mum was baptised against his wishes but although he hated the situation, he sort of supported it in the end because she so wanted to do it and thereby is a lesson in old fashioned love and commitment to ones spouse. He bided his time till I got my act together and mum and I resigned. So to follow your line of thought, I could say that it was partly my fault. Life does not work like that though.

Policies change a lot, doctrines change, They don't like to have a family dispute, they wish for spouses to be in agreement for even just one partner being baptised and especially so for the Temple endowment. They are worried about how they are perceived so perhaps over more recent years there is now a form but I have never heard of or ever seen one.

When someone is baptised the only form I remember is where they ask you your parents names, perhaps if someone is married they ask husbands parents names too, I don't know if that is where the confusion is. Also perhaps they thought they would not include you too much at that time as you were grieving, they kind of think they know best a lot of the time.

My dad is out today, I will ask him when he gets home for any insight he may have. He did put up with a lot but his day came and he never once said he told us so. Your best scenario for your self esteem is that your wife will resign her membership because she will be being taught that to be married to a non member is not good for her and it all gets nasty.

Anyhow, don't be floored. Be proud of you.

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: wife is a member  |  Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2016 1:43 pm
God

Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm
Posts: 2801
Location: NC

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Welcome Apollo.

That's news to me. I'm not surprised that they would have talked to you about it and maybe even asked you if you approved of her getting baptized.

So lets say it's true that you signed something, maybe you changed your mind since then. If you decided back then not to join but today you asked to join, they would proceed for sure. That kind of mind changing is accepted and approved. Why shouldn't other kinds be as your condition changes? Are people not allowed to learn and grow and change?

Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: wife is a member  |  Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2016 1:55 pm
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

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Yes poc, that's called resignation! {:-D

I checked with my dad. He said he never signed anything and he never would have. He said he was asked on many occasions if he would give his permission and he always said no. I think he did not know that he could have absolutely refused to allow the baptism rather than not actually giving permission. I think that would have made the difference. Dad refused mum having home teachers too.

They went ahead without his permission, perhaps that helps you to know. :)

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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