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Tickingclocker
Post  Post subject: Welcome to my anger  |  Posted: Wed May 18, 2016 5:12 am
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Joined: Wed May 18, 2016 3:50 am
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Hello. I have been a non-LDS exmormon for many years, but kept my head down and never addressed it. I still suffer from resentment of having so much of my life taken from me, and cannot see how God can restore those "years the locusts have eaten". How can you get back time?

My mormon dad died last year. Not exactly the nicest person you could meet. His death opened some sort of spiritual cellar door that I never saw any need to revisit before. What I found down there became a catalyst for anger at what mormonism robs from people. I admit it. Grief counselors know crap about what mormonism robs people of. One suggested joining a few secular and Christian forums which did nothing for me. All they want to do is debate, debate, debate stuff like how many angels can dance on the head of a pin type of crap. They actually believe these mormons consider what they say to them! [snicker!] I'll bet not a single one has been "coverted" so far! Why would they when they are having so much fun openly lying to Christians, leading them by the noses right where they want them to go? The Christians remain oblivious of just how they are being manipulated. You try to warn them how they are being used, and what do they do? Ignore you. Then you get belittled then cold shouldered by Mormons upon recognizing you are exmo. I suspect some are apologists deliberately planted in such places, being just too teflon slick for any other reality. So I'm done with that. They end up all the same. Those folks think they can handle being led into the mormonism ditch, like whatevah. Meanwhile, there are about 15 million direction-wary wandering former mormons out here who Christians largely ignore? What a freakin' world.

Sounds like some former mormons have found direction on their own. That gives me heart. I never knew places like this existed before someone listed a link to here on one of those debate forums. I hope it won't turn into endless circular debate time once again. Noooo! If I can't talk to you guys, there's nobody left TO talk to who can understand. Heck, sometimes I don't even understand what I'm feeling or trying to express!


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productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: Welcome to my anger  |  Posted: Wed May 18, 2016 5:34 am
God

Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm
Posts: 2801
Location: NC

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Welcome TickingClocker!

Good to have you here.
My wife and I both moved from Mormonism to Christianity. Some of her family has made that same transition and some of mine as well, others are still in and some are just out of Mormonism.

The problem with debate is that fighting isn't how most change. In my time on this board, time and time again people learn in the quiet of their room late at night looking on the internet at the odd stuff as if it was porn. And they in that quiet and secret time come to know something different than before.

My transition happened as I was studying to defend some claims and as I learned and checked references I came to the point where I had to admit that there were problems in Mormonism.

I'm not sure what all the other churches are like but I have been in some Bible study groups and they were interested and so at a lunch outside of work hours, I shared my transition out of Mormonism. There are people at the church I attend now who are also interested. But I think that mostly, Mormons look sorta christian and they say they are christian and so mostly Christians ignore them, except when there is an incident. Mormons prepare for approaching Christians more than most Christians prepare for approaching Mormons, IMO.

Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


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Rainfeather
Post  Post subject: Re: Welcome to my anger  |  Posted: Wed May 18, 2016 5:40 am
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I guess this is why I still hang out with ex-Mos, long after I feel that I've put it behind me. These are people who understand where I've been, where I am now and where I'm trying to go. We have our Mormon backgrounds in common.

_________________
"A mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: Welcome to my anger  |  Posted: Wed May 18, 2016 3:25 pm
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

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I've just been having a similar conversation with friends. And I guess with time it might get easier for us, certainly I have been through a lot of changes in how I speak now to Christians and to LDS and to myself and I think every person is going to be different. A young lad told me tonight that he does not bother about being accepted any more, he is just going to be himself and I tend to know to follow the youth, so I think that is good advice.

God, you believe in God I think, is a God of resurrection and for me this is where the restoration comes in. Bring good from the situations, find ways to bring good. That can happen in all sorts of little personal ways.

And in the realisation that you don't need this burden anymore, you are not trapped anymore.

And for me knowing there are so very strong people out there who have walked this path before us and if you reach out, there are there for you. And you just have to be you, that is always enough to the right people.

This is a cool book...Out of the cults and into the church....Understanding and Encouraging ex cultists Janis Hutchinson

It is a funny ol' world however you are not on your own in it :)

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


Last edited by Melanie on Fri May 20, 2016 1:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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Tickingclocker
Post  Post subject: Re: Welcome to my anger  |  Posted: Thu May 19, 2016 8:13 pm
Nursery

Joined: Wed May 18, 2016 3:50 am
Posts: 15

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Thank you all for your welcomes. It helps. I shouldn't be dealing with Mormons anyway. Habit, most likely. The groove is deep, but not impossible to avoid.

It's hard to get over the anger at being told not to say anything about what you saw was wrong, even as a little kid. I can't even tell a lie now, it makes me physically sick, just because I had to all my life. No, you can't tell the Elder that's not what the bible says. He's not wrong, the bible is...? Then why do we use it and told to believe it? Sickening. Sometimes I didn't care any longer, and sure as daylight I'd get beatings for disregarding that command. But then you realize nobody's considering whatever truth you try pointing out anyway, so why bother? Why bother? Because that made me even angrier! It shamed God, and then my anger shamed Him. I couldn't win. Its a horrible life to exist in.

All my life I've always wanted to be honest and couldn't be. Now I'm TOO honest, because I finally can be! So, is there any way to find some equilibrium here? That's what I'm hoping for here. Understanding and equilibrium. Or am I hoping to realize a pipe dream?


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productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: Welcome to my anger  |  Posted: Fri May 20, 2016 7:47 am
God

Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm
Posts: 2801
Location: NC

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Jesus was/is full of Grace and Truth.

Truth without Grace is brutality.
Grace without truth is Foolish and reckless and leads to codependency.

Or put a different way, "I don't care how much you know until I know how much you care."

So when you approach people, approach them from love.

In the years that I've been out, the best interactions are the ones that were not planned. They are those "Devine Appointments" where it just happened.


The other thing that helps me is to think about the members as lost/trapped sheep. The bulk of them were like I was. Confused, trapped and lost. They are victims. They are living a system that they learned and doing what they have been taught. It's somewhere near the top when the wolves dress as sheep and feed on them. It's somewhere near that top when the flock is treated as food.

So people like my parents that are too busy and too committed to enjoy their retirement and vacation are missing out. And my parents that are too scared and too invested to investigate just carry sadness over kids who leave the church. That makes me sad for them and angry at the wolves.

Keep the distinction straight. Fight the right enemy.

Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


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JDW
Post  Post subject: Re: Welcome to my anger  |  Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2016 11:15 am
Nursery

Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2016 11:08 am
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This is my boss and the Elders Quorum President of the Warm Springs Ward. I'm pretty angry too!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJG6E5gQyB8


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: Welcome to my anger  |  Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 6:05 am
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

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Seems he must be a hard person to be around. Hey, Welcome to the Forums :)

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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