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truthrealized
Post  Post subject: Feeling free  |  Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2015 9:32 pm
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I was a member for many years and truly believed the church was true. I will not say "I knew" as I don't believe anyone can really "know". To my way of thinking that is dishonest, as the best we can do is believe.

There were always things that bothered me about the church namely the history of polygamy and the possibility of being expected to live it some day and the constant message that no matter how much you did or how well you did it there was always more to do and a better way to do it.

I never was a very good member missionary as I felt I did not want to inflict this life on anyone else, maybe deep down I knew it wasn't right. But as a member you were always told to have more faith and be more obedient - basically the problem was always you.

Several months ago a family member shared her concerns about the church with me and introduced me to the essays on lds.org. After reading them and looking at other sources I was convinced that many things I had been taught were simply not true. Being asked to believe that translate does not really mean translate when speaking of the Book of Abraham and that Joseph Smith was any different than other men who set themselves up to be a leader or prophet. I immediately thought of David Koresh who also took spiritual wives.

I feel that I made a huge mistake raising my children in the church and encouraging them to marry church members. I can see how people become trapped in this life and that it is difficult to break free. Luckily my husband has been willing to listen to me and allow me to leave the church without a big fuss. He still attends but I can see that maybe in the future he will be willing to break free. He tells me he can't while we live where we do as he was the bishop of our ward and too many people would be affected by his leaving. I say maybe they should be affected and that he would be doing them a big favor.


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2015 7:43 am
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Hello. It is really nice to have you with us here. I agree with you that your husband would be doing them all a big favor, but those things have to be at the right time. I am happy for you that you have all come so far to date, the future looks promising, I would say. :)

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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truthrealized
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2015 8:19 am
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Melanie,

Thanks for your kind words.

I am still very early in this process, as it was just two months ago that I stopped attending church. I converted at 11 years old and was very active my whole life. I don't fully know what the fallout will be, I have not told any of my siblings or my mother yet. Those few people I consider my true friends seem to still be friends. Guess I am one of the lucky ones.


I am not trying to cause anyone else to have a "crisis of faith" in fact I don't feel as though I had/have a crisis of faith I feel like I finally learned the truth about the LDS church.

I asked my daughter (who brought her doubts to me) why she was comfortable doing that and she told me that I had said I would want to know if the church were not true. So glad I listened to her and followed up with my own research. I do not wish to continue to support an organization that I feel is based on lies. Life is too short to be on the wrong path.


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productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2015 9:08 am
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Hi truthrealized,

Welcome! So glad you are here :)

I am excited to see things change with the LDS church ... I'm excited to see pillars of their community leaving and the shaking that follows. Word about you will get out. Word about your daughter will get out and the beautiful thing you can share is that you read these articles on the LDS.ORG site (not something from the Tanners) and you just couldn't believe that the LDS church was true anymore.

Believe vs Know ... yes, LDS promote belief to knowledge when really, it's just a feeling. That's dangerous. And tell me, did Jesus talk about the virtues of belief and faith more or less than knowledge? Did John 3:16 say that the person that believes or knows is saved?

WRT Crisis of Faith ... that's their words for it. You had an awakening that changed you from a slave bound by their laws and restriction and expectations and made you free. You had an awakening and you are going to catch fire and awaken others.

When you're on fire, you may loose some friends. That's how cults control people. But what you'll find is that real friends will stick with you, assigned friends will move on to their next assignment. Said differently, where love is bigger than religion, love will win; Where religion is bigger than love, both will die. Think Matthew 10.

Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


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minlanire
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 2:35 am
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Very nice, it makes me understand more.
sbobet mobile


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truthrealized
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 7:06 am
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Wow, I need to do a lot of updating here.

My husband did listen to me, more than I knew, and after doing his own research he drafted a resignation letter last fall and we left the church together. We have been out for 8 months now. So from bishop to ex-mormon it was about 2 months. Kind of mind-blowing when you think about it.

It made my heart glad that I left before the policy change in November. That is such a hateful policy - oops revelation.

The longer I am out the more I realize how harmful the church was/is to me, my family and others.

As a member your view of everything in life is colored by the church. I never realized the extent of the control it had over me until I took a step back. I refused a couple of callings beginning early last year and I think that really gave me time to think about what mattered to me.

We have been contacted by a few others who have either offered support or are looking for answers themselves. It feels good to be able to truly help someone looking for the truth.

I have come a long way and appreciate the support I have found here and at reddit, mormon stories, mormon think etc.


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Rainfeather
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 7:16 am
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Congratulations. I'm loving the information age.

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"A mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes


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truthrealized
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 8:14 am
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Love your quote, "A mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original dimensions."

Learning to live my life differently has been a mind stretching journey. I have always loved learning and growing it's probably what saved me.

As hard as it was to realize I spent so much of my time, money and energies on the wrong path it would be even harder to stay on that path knowing what I know now. There is no going back.


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Rainfeather
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 7:24 pm
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Yep. We can never unlearn what we've learned about the Mormon Church. There is definitely no going back.

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"A mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 3:07 pm
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Congratulations, great news :)

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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truthrealized
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 3:44 pm
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It is great news! My husband could have gone either way and quite frankly i expected him to flip out.

What he did was out me to the stake president who in turn released him from his calling as the bishop (probably a month or two before he had planned), supposedly so my husband would be able to concentrate on me.

It was while serving on the high council (at his own request) that my husband did enough research to realize I had been right. Which made him decide that he could no longer be a member.

The church is no longer a wedge between us. I do not think we would have made it if my husband had been bishop when we had small children at home. He was very committed and I think like many members confused the church with Christ.

You all have been a great support thanks again.


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 6:23 am
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What an awesome story, I am delighted for you all and what an incredible encouragement to all who read your words, thank you so much for sharing with us. :-D

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Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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teoma2
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 7:44 am
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Your story goes to show that some people can separate their feelings from facts and evidence, once they make a decision to do so. Great sense of accomplishment, and eventual relief, when that finally happens. Nice to read that you and your partner accomplished that together and now have many good years ahead of yourselves together.

_________________
"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."


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productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 8:09 am
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Hi truthrealized,

That's really an awesome story. So glad you could come back together as a couple. My wife and I went through much the same, a wedge that later became glue.

And a former bishop (and I'm sure you had some public callings too) ... that's awesome. I'm sure there are many with questions.

Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


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richkelsey.org
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 8:16 am
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truthrealized wrote:
It is great news! My husband could have gone either way and quite frankly i expected him to flip out.

What he did was out me to the stake president who in turn released him from his calling as the bishop (probably a month or two before he had planned), supposedly so my husband would be able to concentrate on me.

It was while serving on the high council (at his own request) that my husband did enough research to realize I had been right. Which made him decide that he could no longer be a member.

The church is no longer a wedge between us. I do not think we would have made it if my husband had been bishop when we had small children at home. He was very committed and I think like many members confused the church with Christ.

You all have been a great support thanks again.

truthrealized!

I'm late to chime in here because me, being a never-Mo, have never been part of the LDS Church structure. Your story is that of a very gut-wrenching time in your life; and, it looks as though things are going very well. I wish you the best.

I'm wondering about your words:

"He was very committed and I think like many members confused the church with Christ."

I have read of people who were determined to stay in a Christ centered faith after leaving Mormonism only to end up believing that their Christian faith was also a myth, shortly afterward leaving the LDS Church.

My understanding is that Jesus is real; and, removing what JS added to Christ's gospel can only get one closer to a pure Christian faith/experience.

Again: I wish you the best.

_________________
My LDS Series:
http://www.richkelsey.org/lds_index.html
Rich Kelsey


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truthrealized
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 10:53 am
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He felt as a member that he was serving Christ and doing what Christ would have him do, but now it is easy to see that it is the church that many people are committed to. For example: How does it serve Christ to let your own family fall apart while cleaning toilets at the church for free or attending meeting after meeting where really nothing is accomplished except taking mothers and fathers away from their responsibilities at home? At least in the past someone was given a job and a sense of self worth to keep the buildings clean and well maintained, now the members have yet another thing to do that in the end saves the church money.

The last few years my husband and I were members our personal tithing/donations were $17,000-$20,000 a year and our ward (congregation) struggled to find the funds to have a Christmas party because the entire ward budget for the entire year was less than half that. We certainly were among the more wealthy members in our unit but not the wealthiest by a long shot.

In the temple for instance you vow to give everything you now have or will ever have to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints. It seems an after thought that they add "for the building up of zion".

There is no accounting for where the money the church brings in from tithes and offering goes; the members are not given a financial report (unlike most other churchs) but now it seems pretty clear that the first presidency and the quorum of the 12 (among others) benefit greatly from those funds.

The unpaid lay ministry that the church is so proud to point out is in reference to the local leaders and it is the local leaders who deal with the majority of the issues in people's lives while the leaders in SLC are practically given celebrity status and do not have to answer or apologize for anything.

As a never-mo it would be difficult for you to understand that entire Sunday meetings are devoted to tithing, missionary work etc. and a mention of Christ is merely a side note at best. When members attend Christmas mass (at a Catholic Church) just so they can feel that Christ was the central theme of the meeting something is wrong.

I can understand why when people leave the church it is hard to believe that any religious institutions are really from Christ. Fool me once...


Last edited by truthrealized on Wed May 04, 2016 6:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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richkelsey.org
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 1:32 pm
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truthrealized wrote:
He felt as a member that he was serving Christ and doing what Christ would have him do, but now it is easy to see that it is the church that many people are committed to. For example: How does it serve Christ to let your own family fall apart while cleaning toilets at the church for free or attending meeting after meeting where really nothing is accomplished except taking mothers and fathers away from their responsibilities at home? At least in the past someone was given a job and a sense of self worth to keep the buildings clean and well maintained, now the members have yet another thing to do that in the end saves the church money.

The last few years my husband and I were members our personal tithing/donations were $17,000-$20,000 a year and our ward (congregation) struggled to find the funds to have a Christmas party because the entire ward budget for the entire year was less than half that. We certainly were among the more wealthy members in our unit but not the wealthiest by a long shot.

In the temple for instance you vow to give everything you now have or will ever have to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints. It seems an after thought that they add "for the building up of zion".

There is no accounting for where the money the church brings in from tithes and offering goes; the members are not given a financial report (unlike most other church's) but now it seems pretty clear that the first presidency and the quorum of the 12 (among others) benefit greatly from those funds.

The unpaid lay ministry that the church is so proud to point out is in reference to the local leaders and it is the local leaders who deal with the majority of the issues in people's lives while the leaders in SLC are practically given celebrity status and do not have to answer or apologize for anything.

As a never-mo it would be difficult for you to understand that entire Sunday meetings are devoted to tithing, missionary work etc. and a mention of Christ is merely a side note at best. When members attend Christmas mass (at a Catholic Church) just so they can feel that Christ was the central theme of the meeting something is wrong.

I can understand why when people leave the church it is hard to believe that any religious institutions are really from Christ. Fool me once...

truthrealized.

Thanks for the reply.

For me, believing in Jesus is not something I could question

You will see what I mean in my above statement if you read my work entitled "My Near Death Experience": http://richkelsey.org/my_near_death_experience.htm

It breaks my heart to see people toss out Christianity because of what JS added to Christ's gospel.

Also: Blindly trusting in men's programs and doctrine, I believe is a sure way for us to become shipwrecked.

Rich


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Tickingclocker
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Wed May 18, 2016 5:35 am
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truthrealized wrote:
When members attend Christmas mass (at a Catholic Church) just so they can feel that Christ was the central theme of the meeting something is wrong...


That is exactly what happened to me. Long ago a friend invited me to go to her Catholic Christmas service. I'd never felt so close to God in my life before as I did there in that one hour. God really is real. He's not to blame for what I was taught. Joseph Smith is, and he was only just another human being, on the same level as everyone else. So thank you for jogging a wonderful memory with that. :-D


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JonMinLoganUtah
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Sat May 21, 2016 9:57 am
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I love reading all your stories and insights. I am no longer active, i have not sent in my letter yet, but the past few weeks have given me more cause to and to realize that any organized religion is full of crap.

Jon

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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: Feeling free  |  Posted: Sun May 22, 2016 9:04 am
myself

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Resign, why don't ya! We're on a roll here! :)

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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