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Lebowski
Post  Post subject: Hello Kiddies!  |  Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 7:46 pm
Nursery

Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2014 7:32 pm
Posts: 9
Location: Utah County

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Hello Everyone!

I've lurked here off and on for quite some time. I've lurked at several sites having to do with the church and have often wondered about what it would be like to walk away from the church without the inherent feelings of fear or guilt we've had so ingrained into us over the years. I've lived through a Mormon life grudgingly, went to all the good Mormon child things such as Mutual and Seminary, then on to BYU and Missionary Service, to marriage and family in the church along with many, many callings along the way.

Now, after 15 years of marriage, I'm divorced. A marriage which ended rather abruptly when the Mrs. decided she was unhappy with the life she had chosen in spite of the fact that we'd both made many sacrifices to our own personalities. My own proclivities notwithstanding, she decided to pursue other interests.

As for me, I'm on a sabbatical from any type of organized religion. Fact is, I've lived someone else's dreams for far too long and have failed to be myself and do what I wanted to do. Thus it's all up for reevaluation. Did I ever truly have a testimony, or was it instilled in me as a habit in the same manner as brushing my hair in the morning? Certainly I've had feelings and impressions over the years, but where do these feelings come from? The mind is an extraordinary thing.

Perhaps the next question...where was everyone when my marriage melted down? The church is about families, but nobody stopped by to offer any type of assistance. One knows how quickly the rumors spread in a Utah County ward, mine wasn't an exception. Perhaps it really is a test for me, maybe it's pay back for something I've done in my own life...

Now here I am, looking to transform my life into what I want. The Mormon critics in the neighborhood will scoff, but screw them! Yes, I am leaving because it wasn't the life I wanted. Yes, I am leaving because I'm going to have a drink with friends and I found recently I do like a good beer! Yes, I'm going to make up for lost time and find some new friends and have some new experiences. As I said, they will look at me and judge, say I'm having a mid life crisis and maybe I am. On the other hand...GAME ON!!

_________________
The Dude Abides!


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teoma2
Post  Post subject: Re: Hello Kiddies!  |  Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 9:04 pm
God of Mythbusters

Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:30 am
Posts: 4805
Location: Kolobian Lowlands

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Hey buddy! Welcome home! The game here is still going strong.

_________________
"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: Hello Kiddies!  |  Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 3:34 am
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

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Hello! Welcome to the forums!

I'm sorry you've had all that happen. It takes a time to work through it all, a long time often so just take it steady.

http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3

You could check this podcast out. It is very helpful.
And keep posting. All the best to you!

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: Hello Kiddies!  |  Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 9:58 am
God

Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm
Posts: 2802
Location: NC

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Welcome Lebowski,

I too went through a divorce as a Mormon and yes, it a very quiet and strange time. The church members were not quite sure how to deal with it, how to fit me in, etc. They programs seemed to have a bit hole in them, especially for the separated members.

I stayed active and kept taking the kids, she quit going. I supposed the biased the comments/rumors against her ... and in my opinion they should be :)

WRT leaving without guilt/fear ... I think knowledge helps with that. As you learn that the LDS is based on lies and that they really have no authority, it becomes like watching a kid play cops and robbers and he tells you to "stick um up" ... you can play along if you want but you don't have to because they have no real authority. When you accept that they made promises and contracts that they cannot keep their end of the bargain of, you can see yourself free from those contracts.

You talked about taking a sabattical from religion ... we did the same and it was a good experience for us. I completely get how when a foundational part of your life changes that all sorts of things above it change. I even took time to rethink political opinions. Keep an open mind and look around and take in the world.

Wish you the best.

Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


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Abinadi
Post  Post subject: Re: Hello Kiddies!  |  Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 10:21 am
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MODERATOR

Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:23 am
Posts: 7887
Location: D&C 121:39

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Quote:
someone else's dream
In this case,
"One man's dream is another man's nightmare."


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