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MollyNoMo
Post  Post subject: I need validation!  |  Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 2:16 am
Nursery

Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2014 1:32 am
Posts: 9
Location: Utah

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Hello everyone,

I'm a 25-year-old single girl and for the most part I've been luckier than most in that I don't have a husband or children who will be confused by my decision. I am even luckier in my situation for the fact that my brother left the church about a year ago and both of my parents have actually come to realize the truth about things this last year, so I have immediate family members who I can talk to. My other siblings that are still active have not changed the way they treat me; I have only been disowned by one family member, a grandma. I know from being a lurker on forums for many months that I have nothing to complain about there.

I feel like Jim Carey's character in the movie "The Truman Show." I was living my life like normal, then I began to realize I had some funny ideas, then I began to realize really weird things were happening around me and it's like nobody else noticed it. Like, the church treats the restoration of the gospel and the founding of the US like they are two sides to a coin-miracle. When in actuality, mormons were driven from the states and at the time Salt Lake City was settled, it was on Mexican territory. Doesn't this matter to anyone else? I know this will seem like the tiniest thing to most people, but for some reason it really bothers me.

Or the fact that the church mixes with government in such a weird way, like patriotic songs in the hymn book, and lessons in the manuals about the founding of the US, thinking that the US was founded just for them, and they're so grateful for the freedoms they enjoy, and then they turn right around and get involved in politics trying to stop gay people from having the same rights as everyone else? Doesn't anybody else notice this?

Or the fact that they have paid clergy making three times what my dad ever made at his best. My parents scrimped and saved, and we went without a lot of comforts growing up, so they could pay tithing, and then I find out that the church put their heart-wrenching little ten-percent into that huge freaking for-profit apartment/condo/retail strip in Philadelphia? Doesn't anyone else think that's a little messed up? I wouldn't have given them a dime if I knew there were general authorities making over $100,000.00 a year.

And listen, I have had innumerable experiences seeing the backwards policies of the church first-hand and suffering as a result of them, but you know what kind of thing really just tipped me over the edge? The last time I went to church, a man got up and bore his testimony, and I kid you not, this is what he said:

"Me and my dad were driving down the highway, and a guy in a truck cut us off. My dad leaned over and said, he must not be from Utah. And I realized that I want to live my life so perfectly that everywhere I go people will say, I bet he's a member."

Okay, I just want one person on here to tell me, I think that's abominable too. I'm not eloquent enough to identify why that story just RANKLES me right under the skin, but I am hoping with all my heart there is someone on here who knows the feeling. Please tell me, "yes, that man was a completely ethnocentric ignoramous. Yes, I taste bile when I hear such heinousness spoken from a church pulpit. Yes, MollyNoMo, I understand why you can't do it no mo." I want a friend SO BADLY that knows how it feels to be sitting in a BYU-I Book of Mormon lecture and have to listen to a classmate justify Nephi slaying Laban, trying to rationalize the inconsistencies of the mormon god while becoming embarrassingly emotional. If I hear one more person say that that story is about your ability to listen to the spirit, I will throw a law textbook at them. If I hear one more professor saying that according to god, Nephi was justified because Laban had tried to kill him first, I will personally march him down to a law office and ask the lawyer there, "Let's say this man tries to kill me, but I run away. The next day I sneak into his house while he's sleeping and I kill him for my safety. Is that going to hold up in a court of law? Am I acquitted of that murder? Will the jury find me innocent?"

Okay, I know I'm just supposed to introduce myself here, and I promise that's my point. These are my thought processes, this is the kind of person I am, and this is the frustration I'm dealing with. I just for the life of me do not understand how anyone can perceive that church as their moral compass. I am seeking new friendships with people that I can connect to on this level.

On another level, I also enjoy the internet, science, animals, philosophy, DIY, the IT Crowd, and that kind of stuff, so most people actually find me somewhat entertaining and easy to talk to. Please don't be bashful with me. If you can help me through my 12 Steps of Recovery, I can help you through yours as well. Thanks for reading. Sorry about the length. I wish everyone well.


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Melanie
Post  Post subject: Re: I need validation!  |  Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 4:31 am
myself

Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:34 pm
Posts: 1693
Location: England

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Hey, You don't need any validation. Welcome to the Forums, it is great to have you here. I'm sorry, I know nothing about the specifics of the credits, I hope you can find a way.

http://askreality.com/7-0-why-i-left-mo ... deception/

I know! It is all so scream inducing. This video helped me to understand. They are conducting themselves as an organisation and the doctrine is about performance and worthiness as is seen in that guy's testimony. That is how it all is. I don't think he was an ignoramous at all, that is how it is. That is the real problem, own works, not relying on the grace of Jesus in the midst of our own errors and sin.

_________________
Why leave? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... 989OOSOycw
How to heal? http://media.blubrry.com/mormonexpressi ... ion225.mp3


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productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: I need validation!  |  Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 7:33 am
God

Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm
Posts: 2802
Location: NC

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Hi Molly!

Nephi? I bet he's a member.

What bugs me about that statement is that it again elevates membership in an organization over a relationship with Jesus.

There's a long list of problems with the LDS church and it's not any one but rather then collection of them that helped me let go.

Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


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teoma2
Post  Post subject: Re: I need validation!  |  Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 8:45 am
God of Mythbusters

Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:30 am
Posts: 4805
Location: Kolobian Lowlands

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Welcome Molly. Rest assured girl, you're not alone in your feelings or the manner in which you conduct your thinking.

_________________
"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."


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Meep
Post  Post subject: Re: I need validation!  |  Posted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 1:02 am
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Nursery

Joined: Sun Feb 09, 2014 1:23 pm
Posts: 7
Location: Ohio

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Hi Molly!

I know those feelings exactly. And I tried and tried for so many years to just push this negative nagging feeling I had away. The thing that has bothered me most, even when I was little, is the way they oppressed women. What if I want to do something other than being a mother, why was that so wrong? It did get to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. So yes, I totally understand those feelings, having gone through it myself.

Speaking of the IT Crowd, I love that show!!! Moss is my favorite.


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MollyNoMo
Post  Post subject: Re: I need validation!  |  Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2014 12:04 am
Nursery

Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2014 1:32 am
Posts: 9
Location: Utah

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Everyone,

Thank you so much for the support. I was about ready to blow a gasket. I am taking the comments to heart and I appreciate the additional sources as well.

Sincerely,
MollyNoMo

_________________
Sincerely,

MollyNoMo


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Abinadi
Post  Post subject: Re: I need validation!  |  Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 1:31 pm
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MODERATOR

Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:23 am
Posts: 7887
Location: D&C 121:39

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Welcome MollyNoMo.

Egads. Nice testimony you heard there, "not from Utah." I was almost run off the road in Utah. From someone from Utah! :titter:

BYU - are you still there? I was such a believer when I was there. Pearl of Great Price class was so precious. But now. Sorry. :puke-right:

Are you still there (BYU)? We've had BYU students here, and met a few at the Exmormon Conferences. I bought into the Laban thing. A fellow by the name of Welch wrote a brilliant justification using Jewish law. Problem is, he misinterpreted and misapplied it. For example, head-chopping-off, if I recall correctly, was more for kings, not for drunkenness. I mean what else did Laban do? He was being very peaceful, not resisting arrest, was disarmed, and unless there is evidence to the contrary, I bet he was remorseful over what he had done and was planning on returning everything when he got up next morning.

"Better that one man should die, then that a nation should perish in unbelief." Is that the formula for a righteous execution? If it was, then Jesus was justly executed! Because that was the argument used (according to the Bible) to do him in, too. That Laban story is becoming a larger and larger thorn in Mormonism's body politic, or in this case body theologic.

I love to visit a Mormon ward now and then. For a few minutes. Takes me back to a few pleasant memories. Unfortunately, as with you, when I start hearing the teachings, the testimonies, the discussions, or most anything, I get a funny feeling. I have to call it nausea. It's either nausea or something like it, like being sick in my stomach and angry in my head.

Thanks for your . . . untesimony ;) . . . MollyNoMo. I look forward to hearing about your further exploits and escape.

_________________
"Prove it!" - Tarquinius Septem

"Everyone has to find his own path." - Ip-Man


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thelilorfn
Post  Post subject: Re: I need validation!  |  Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:54 pm
Nursery

Joined: Sun Sep 08, 2013 9:31 am
Posts: 8

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Yes, they are crazy making. Yes, they openly lie. Yes, they profess friendship and community but deliver criticism and shunning.
Thanks for what you said. Very helpful.


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