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CarsgoVroom
  Post  Post subject: Who gets Notified?  |  Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 8:44 pm
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Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 8:20 pm
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Hey all,

My girlfriend and I recently decided we're finally going to get our records removed. I've been inactive for around 5 years and this decision came about because I'm sick of the young adult ward in my area pestering us to come to activities and church meetings. For the record I've wanted to leave since about 14ish but I come from a multi generational Utah Mormon family so inactivity at 18 when I moved out was the only option for me (a "as long as you live in my house you'll go to church and like it", sort of family).

Normally I'm fine with them pestering us because they were extremely polite about it and a quick but polite "No, thank you. Please leave us alone." would usually get them off our case for around 6 months or so. But the last straw has been the last few visits, coming when I'm not home, where they have antagonized my girlfriend (she has the same situation as mentioned above) with question after question about us living together and making it seem like she's doing some horrible, atrocious thing. They never bring this up to me and it almost seems like they're purposely coming when I'm not there now. It's infuriating to say the least.

So our biggest question is, do they involve parents with the record removal process or notify them in any way? We want our freedom and happiness and just to be left alone, but we don't want our parents to disown us over this. Make no mistake, it's not an over reaction to a potential outcome, both our parents would drop us both in a heart beat if they found out we were going to do this. The only reason they haven't yet is because we're only "inactive" and think they can get us to come back.

We're going to go through with this either way but we'd like to prepare for the inevitable yelling and crying phone calls that we're going to get if this is the case (not to mention the lack of assistance or contact in any way, shape or form that will follow) and I can't seem to find anything definitive on the subject. Thanks for your help in enlightening us on this matter


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joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Who gets Notified?  |  Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 9:16 pm
God of Poly-Folly

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:29 pm
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Hey CarsgoVroom hi,
Nobody gets notified that I know about, you can definitely each request to keep everything in the most strictly held confidence. It's very likely that Mormonism prefers it this way so that the building exodus is maybe largely hidden from view.

Be sure to let the parents know how the LDS church (sm C) will never offer up repentance for their continuing deceit and cover up and worse than the horrible deception itself, always deny it.

Tell em both it is despicable the way Mormonism behaves. You then might have a better out if you ever need to use it, and a lot less gnashing of teeth and all of that ridiculousness too. [Gnashing of teeth: In the original Greek ὁ κλαυθμὸς καὶ ὁ βρυγμὸς τῶν ὀδόντων]

Wow!

_________________
God of Poly-Folly Folly

{If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~Stevie Wonder}
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
........................ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


God of Poly-Folly Folly


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teoma2
Post  Post subject: Re: Who gets Notified?  |  Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 7:12 am
God of Mythbusters

Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:30 am
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Welcome CarsgoVroom. Its normal to have some worries or concerns about the possibility of collateral damage that may occur with your official exits. But you can rest assured that after a few years of total freedom that will surely become less of a concern as you go about your way. Trust us on this, as we have been there and done that already.

_________________
"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."


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productofchoice
Post  Post subject: Re: Who gets Notified?  |  Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 7:21 am
God

Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:49 pm
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Welcome CarsgoVroom!

It's been a few years but the process of taking your name off the records should not involve your parents, unless they are in your bishopric or stake presidency or some other church position over you. Those people have updated lists and might notice that you are no longer on the list ... I was once in the single adults comittee and we did have a list and ask different people to reach out and contact.

Y'alls parents might be actively reaching out to the local bishop and asking him to work on you. If your parents call the bishop then they might find out that you are no longer on the records and might find out any other juicy details that a human might share even if they aren't supposed to. You are dealing with people and people do what they do.

Likewise, if any of the people who have to be told because of Home Teaching, Visiting Teaching, etc have a big mouth and your parents ear, they talk and your parents might hear.

In my story, Mom worked at the temple. Temple president (and a few others) were in my ward and my neighborhood. I thought it a reasonable risk that someone would eventually let her know, even if it's with a statement like, "Oh Sister, I'm so sorry to hear about your son. He always seemed like such a strong fellow."

Anyway, Because of that risk I though it a better thing to tell them directly instead of letting them find out "through the grapevine."

My guess is that in your situation, odds are low that your parents will be told by anybody.

Peace

_________________
I resigned from the Church of THE Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Feb 2011)

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." - Luke 8:17


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CarsgoVroom
Post  Post subject: Re: Who gets Notified?  |  Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 7:12 pm
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Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 8:20 pm
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Thanks for the reply's and information everyone! We are gonna start it up when we get back from our trip this weekend and have some down time. Have a great day all :)


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joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Who gets Notified?  |  Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2017 7:51 am
God of Poly-Folly

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:29 pm
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teoma2 wrote:
Welcome CarsgoVroom. Its normal to have some worries or concerns about the possibility of collateral damage that may occur with your official exits. But you can rest assured that after a few years of total freedom that will surely become less of a concern as you go about your way. Trust us on this, as we have been there and done that already.


Stick to the saged and well worn advice as good as you can. Act as if Mormonism never happened to you, never miss a day to the mentally ill humans you may run into in every now and then, too.

You are so so very lucky!

King Of Queens actress Leah Remini is doing so much good to help out Scientology victims with her second part of a segment series through the production company A&E this coming month.

viewtopic.php?f=27&t=52155&sid=7a734c2dd5e4f3511d73447b38831106#p130347

Just in case you're wondering who was helping before Leah Remini but in great artistically found fashion!

https://youtu.be/tnSF36PBxbk

Hold on to your seat, these "Blood" cultish activities all have way way way too much in common.

https://www.splcenter.org/hatewatch/201 ... blood-cult

The ten parts of the new second series begin on 8-15-2017 enjoy.

viewtopic.php?f=27&p=131116&sid=2b165b8cb9614e094f4282410e5dad50#p131116

_________________
God of Poly-Folly Folly

{If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~Stevie Wonder}
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
........................ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


God of Poly-Folly Folly


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Abinadi
Post  Post subject: Re: Who gets Notified?  |  Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 2:18 pm
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Setting aside the fact that it truly is none of their business if you are not one of their official minions, they ought not inform anyone of anything about you, whether out of a sense of civilized courtesy or, depending on the information, because it might be slanderous (hence illegal) or a violation of privacy (likewise, illegal).

However, from my experience, I learned the hard way that "confidential" meetings with Mormons of any rank, not only carry no degree of confidentiality, but in many cases, you can be guaranteed that the information will be shared. You know, there are regular, weekly meetings, where local church leaders talk about every one in the ward who has experienced, said, or done something that draws attention or had something interesting said about them. This is why in the army you learn to not move an inch when in formation.

I think all I can do is either keep telling them to go away, or invite them in and embarrass them with pointed questions about changes in doctrines, polygamy, blood atonement, and so on.

_________________
"Prove it!" - Tarquinius Septem

"Everyone has to find his own path." - Ip-Man


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joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Who gets Notified?  |  Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 2:43 am
God of Poly-Folly

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:29 pm
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Abinadi wrote:
Setting aside the fact that it truly is none of their business if you are not one of their official minions, they ought not inform anyone of anything about you, whether out of a sense of civilized courtesy or, depending on the information, because it might be slanderous (hence illegal) or a violation of privacy (likewise, illegal).

However, from my experience, I learned the hard way that "confidential" meetings with Mormons of any rank, not only carry no degree of confidentiality, but in many cases, you can be guaranteed that the information will be shared. You know, there are regular, weekly meetings, where local church leaders talk about every one in the ward who has experienced, said, or done something that draws attention or had something interesting said about them. This is why in the army you learn to not move an inch when in formation.

I think all I can do is either keep telling them to go away, or invite them in and embarrass them with pointed questions about changes in doctrines, polygamy, blood atonement, and so on.


Whatcha gonna do? These goofs act like they own the world sometimes. Abinadi, I am so very proud of our little team here. The LDS church (sm C) has been so busy up and down and all around these last few years the chances are they don't always behave in the many ways we remember anymore.

The rapid rotation of leadership in many of the smaller local districts has em mostly scrambling to try and get back to Mormon-Normal and heh heh, that ain't happening.

_________________
God of Poly-Folly Folly

{If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~Stevie Wonder}
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
........................ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


God of Poly-Folly Folly


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teoma2
Post  Post subject: Re: Who gets Notified?  |  Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 8:20 am
God of Mythbusters

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By "rapid rotation of leadership" you're referring to difficulty refilling the worker bee slots in the over scheme of things Joey? I can certainly see that happening here in Idaho as well. People are leaving and that's the bottom line. It's not important to them any more.

_________________
"When authority masquerades as a power, a simple question will unmask it."

"Just because you think, feel, or believe something is true, doesn't make it true!"

"The doubt of your faith, is not God testing you, but truth trying to emerge and free you."


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joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Who gets Notified?  |  Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 4:04 pm
God of Poly-Folly

Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:29 pm
Posts: 5371

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teoma2 wrote:
By "rapid rotation of leadership" you're referring to difficulty refilling the worker bee slots in the over scheme of things Joey? I can certainly see that happening here in Idaho as well. People are leaving and that's the bottom line. It's not important to them any more.


The less qualified peeps are accelerated to the front of the line, that's for sure! Want to be a bishop or maybe better yet, ever dreamt of being a possible Stake President in the Mormon corporation and church? (sm C)

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/8656 ... dents.html

And, that all means the rapid rotation might mean a lot less time to worry about parishioners and if they're coming or going.

It's all about 'That Mo Stare' anymore.

The LDSS is surely on the shoals, either that or it has met one hell of a Titanic iceberg in a Google kind of a way. You can read it in their faces.

.

_________________
God of Poly-Folly Folly

{If you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer ~Stevie Wonder}
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
........................ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944
.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


God of Poly-Folly Folly


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