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insanad
Post  Post subject: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 6:35 pm
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I couldn't figure out how to bump the thread but for those new to the forum or typical Mormon/ex-mo discussions here's a list of the acronyms and abbreviations we use here. I have made up a few of my own and have heard some doozies and we can make up our own if you are inclined to come up with something fabulous, so don't be shy.

AP - Assistants to the President, mission president's top missionaries/henchmen
BIC- Born In the Covenant (parents had been sealed in the temple prior to your birth)
BIL - Brother-in-Law
Bish-Bishop
BKP - Boyd K Packer
BoA - Book of Abraham
BoM - Book of Mormon
BP - Branch President
BTW - By The Way
BY - Brigham Young
BYU - Brigham Young University
CHI - Church Handbook of Instruction
CK - Celestial Kingdom, where God lives and all Mormon believers strive to reach
COB - Church Office Building
COJCOLDS - Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
COP - Corporation of the President
CTR - Choose the Right, a mormon saying and common sybmol on rings worn by Mormons
D&C - Doctrine and Covenants
DH - Dear Husband
DL - District Leader, responsible for 3 or 4 sets of missionaries
Dum,Dum,Dum,Dum- Universal sound others make when hearing Mormon history of JS
EQ - Elder's Quorum
ET - Ezra Taft Benson
FAIR - Foundation for Apologetic Information & Research, apologetic organization
FARMS - Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies, Church apologetic organization
FIL - Father-in-Law
FKAM- Formerly Known As Mormon
FPR = Faith Promoting Rumor
FS - Fast Sunday
FTM - Fast and Testimony Meeting
F&T - alternate for fast and testimony meeting
G - Grin
GA - General Authority
GBH - Gordon B. Hinckley
HC - High Council
HP - High Priest
HT - Home Teacher
IMO - In My Opinion
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMNSHO - In My Not So Humble Opinion
ISPART - Institute for the Study and Preservation of Ancient Religious Texts, church apologetic organization
JoD - Journal of Discources
JS - Joseph Smith
JW - Jehova's Witnesses
LDS - Latter-Day-Saint
LOL - Laugh Out Loud
MIL - Mother-in-Law
MINO Mormon In Name Only
MMM - Mountain Meadows Massacre
M.org-Mormon Organization, encompassing all programs and leadership
Morgasm-The act of feigning approval at any LDS event, building, ritual in order to save peace.
MP - Mission President
MTC - Missionary Training Center
NT and N/T - No Text message (only a subject)
OMG - Oh My God
PEC - Priesthood Executive Meeting
PH - Priesthood
PoP - Perl of Great Price
PoGP - Pearl of Great Price
PPI - Personal Priesthood Interview
ROFL - Roll on the Floor Laughing
ROFLMAO - Rolling on the Floor Laughing My Ass Off
ROFLMAO/PIMP - Rolling On the Floor Laughing My Ass Off and Peeing In My Pants
RM - returned missionary; prime marriage prospect for young LDS women
RS - Relief Society
RSP - Relief Society President
SHC - Stake High Council
SIL - Sister-in-Law
SP - Stake President
SWQ - Spencer W. Kimbal
TBC - True believing Christian
TBM - True Blue Mormon or True Believing Mormon
TomASS-Thomas S. Monson (also Tom S, The Monstor Monson, and bloated corpulent gas bag if you're inclined to type it out)
TSCC - "The So-Called Church"
VT - Visiting Teacher
WTG - Way To Go
YM - Young Mens
YSA - Young Single Adult
YW - Young Womens
ZL - Zone Leader, responsible for several districts

Vocabulary:
Angel Chaps - garments
Apes - see AP above
Apologetic - someone who tries explaining the inconsistencies or other problems with the Church in a positive light
Backslider - someone trying to be active in the Church but cant seem to fall in line
Baker's Hat - stupid temple ceremony head gear
Big 15 - LDS president, two counsellors and 12 apostles
Branch - a small Mormon parish
Closet Doubter - Someone who dosen't believe the Church anymore, but still is active and pretends to be a believer
Correlation - Church program started in the 1960's to completely overhaul the church organization and centralize total control of the Church to the Apostles and First Presidency.
Courts of Love - diciplinary council where you get exed
Crutch - Mormon Church
Discussions - 6 canned lessons that all missionaries teach to "Investigators"
Eric - He owns this place and his word is law
Ex -excommunicate
Exed - excommunicated
Exmo - Ex-Mormon
Funeral potatoes - a typical dish at Mormon functions or deliverd as a charitable gesture when someone dies
Garmies - Garments
Golden Contact = someone the mishies definately think will agree to a baptism after the 6 discussions
Great-and-Spacious Building - The new $500mil church conference center in Salt Lake City
Happy Valley - Provo Utah, high concentration of Mormons and home of BYU
Herms - sister missionaries, comes from Spanish term "Hermanas"
Ivory Tower - Phalic-looking Church Office Buildiing in Salt Lake City
Investigator - someone taking the missionary discussions
Jesus Jammies - garments
Kolob - sun nearest to where God lives, according to Mormon scripture
Lurker - Someone who frequents reading the board but rarely if ever posts
Mainstreaming - the Mormon Church's changing it's own doctrine, practices and image to look more Christian
Mishies - Missionaries
McTemple - a Mormon Mini-Temple
Mormon Corridor - Arizona, Utah, Idaho high-density mormon states
Mormon Salute - gesture made by Mormons constantly pulling their underwear out of their butts
Morg - the Church acting like a Star Trek Borg Collective, "Mormon Borg"
Morgbot - a Mormon who demonstrates lack of independant thought, "Mormon Borg Robot"
Moron - a Mormon who demonstrates lack of independant thought
Nevermo - someone who has never been a member of the Church
Newbie - someone new to the board or new to the whole concet that the church is a hoax
Pay Lay Ale - a chant from the temple ceremony that was supposed to mean, "Oh God, hear the words of my mouth." It was deleted when the temple ceremony was modernized in the 1990s; a metaphore for all that's weird in the church and it's habit of changing what was supposed to be directly revealed and completely perfect in the first place.
Pod - a Mormon who follows leaders blindly
Polygamy - one man being married to more than one wife, also known as "Polygyny"
Polyandry - two men married to the same woman at the same time which was praticed by early church leaders
Profit - psudonym for "Prophet"
QuadCom - a 3" thick 4-in-1 edition of the LDS standard works that has become a popular replacement for a Bible and triple combination
Sacred Skivvies - garments
Smoking Gun - fact or evidence that indicates the Church is a fraud
Stake - a collection of Wards
Sticks - Scriptures
The Y - BYU, not YMCA
Troll - someone who posts a rude/ignorant message "trolling" for responses. See also the entry for Troll in the Jargon File.
Ward - standard Mormon parish
White Bible - strict rulebook given to all missionaries

For a comprehensive list of other Mormon vocabulary, see:
http://www.salamandersociety.com/dictionary/

Nicknames
Breed'em Young - Brigham Young
Ezra - Ezra Taft Benson
Gordy - current Church President Gordon B. Hinckley
Hinckster - current Church President Gordon B. Hinckley
Horn Dog - Jospeh Smith
KKK- Boyd K. Packer
Nibler - famous mormon apologist, Hugh Nibley
Quinn - famous mormon historian, Michael Quinn
Kimby - Spencer W. Kimball
Tanners - Famous Anti-Mormons, Gerald and Sandra Tanner

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gaymormonboygone
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 7:03 pm
thank you so much!


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insanad
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 7:31 pm
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I can't remember them all now but we should add-

Morgasms: The feigned act of being pleased at some LDS saying, event, or building in order to get along with or through a typical gathering. While in the Celestial Room of the temple after any endowment session when some glazed eyed old coot comes up and says, "Wuddent that the most spir-i-chul thang ya ever seen?" you can fake a smile and say, "Well, my favorite part was the ending.".

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gaymormonboygone
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 11:17 pm
insanad wrote:
I can't remember them all now but we should add-

Morgasms: The feigned act of being pleased at some LDS saying, event, or building in order to get along with or through a typical gathering. While in the Celestial Room of the temple after any endowment session when some glazed eyed old coot comes up and says, "Wuddent that the most spir-i-chul thang ya ever seen?" you can fake a smile and say, "Well, my favorite part was the ending.".


Oh that is too funny!! I do love a good ending!!


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Sirnya
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 1:07 am
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can you add Bish? l started using it a lot in one of my threads l started and l'm sure l've seen others use it to refer to a Bishop.

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joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 5:17 am
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You shouldn't forget these.

TomASS or Tom S using the really catchy phrase, "The Monster" Monson. To maybe help in properly clairfying both the stature or role, and the morbidly obese size of THE Prophet and President of the M.org (Mormorn organization) that he is responsible for overseeing, maintaining and directing. Just one of the most duped and worthless Mormon human beings. Who is so far insulated from what is good and true and right, most probably because of his revered and fake but ultimately deadly prophet status. Recently much more down-played in a plainly tricky fashion to only the "President" of the LD$ Corp. His full and proper name should also be noted, as Thomas S. Monson, Prophet and President of Mormonism, the One True Church, The Church Of Jesus Christ OLDS (Of Latter Day Saints). Maybe more on Mormon Monster Monson's Multi-Million Mansion in Maui a little later.

Dum, dum,dum...
Need I say more? South Park cartoon episode, "All About The Mormons" should suffice.

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insanad
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:26 am
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It shall be done! I'll go edit my first post to include all your clever offerings. I wonder if learning all this counts as a second language on a job application. I speak construction worker (I can cuss better than most) and I have been known to speak dog and baby pretty well too.

I also speak Spanish. Kay Buewano, Poor Favor huevos rancheros el libro de Christo, bano on-de-lay, on-de-lay, liberacion carneceria quincinera, el grande!!

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Abinadi
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:52 pm
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joseph's myth wrote:
Maybe more on Mormon Monster Monson's Multi-Million Mansion in Maui a little later.

Me waits with baited breath.


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joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 5:02 am
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Abinadi wrote:
joseph's myth wrote:
Maybe more on Mormon Monster Monson's Multi-Million Mansion in Maui a little later.

Me waits with baited breath.


You may relax Abinadi. It's far and away in another league of expenses that peasantry folks like us still may find much too diffi'cult (emphasis on cult) to ever accept as reasonable or even necessary. Maybe, made even more so, because we as an LDS group were constantly hounded for such a large portion of our hard earned salaries. Continuously berated into suffering a most meager existence so that the Lords work might be further pursued by our trusted leaders. Way back in 1988 a tiny fraction of these typically routine costs were published inside of the daily newspaper called the Salt Lake Tribune, as nothing more than chicken scratch.

Dec 8, 1988:
"The $1.2 Million condominium at 40N State that is home to the President of the Church Of Jesus Christ OLDS will be exempt from property taxes Salt Lake County Comissioners ruled Tuesday"

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.................. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekkkD8HU944


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thews
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:20 pm
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I'd like to toss out "Limitard" in the ring, as the definition of Mormon spin doctor on the web in internet forums.

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insanad
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:45 pm
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Yes, that's a great one Thews, and another I heard a while back on those same terms,
Ignorati-The elite apologists who rely on obfuscation and outright trumped information to prove a fact.

I didn't check to see if Utard was there. Utard would describe about 50% of the good citizens of the state who are completely oblivious to the fact that they are ill informed, easily led, and a bunch of inbred redneck chicken little neocons. I suppose you could find the same percentage in most of the western or southern states. The trick is to separate out the really intelligent and informed and create our own little haven where free thought and information can flow like good butter. How about if we buy a town and make it our own. We could call it
"Freethinkerville". Dumbfuckistan was already taken.

I also think we need to include the term Ruckin Feetard. Fill your examples in here:

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thews
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 1:31 pm
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insanad wrote:
I also think we need to include the term Ruckin Feetard. Fill your examples in here:

Ruckin' Feetard is one of my favorites from you.

Also "high-five" indicating one Mormon agreeing with another Mormon for the sake of support.

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Tim 4:3 For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine..they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.


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teoma2
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 7:09 am
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Another thoughtful addition here:

NFPR: Any NON faith promoting rumor that is factual in its nature and corroborated or
supported by unbiased reproducible data or intell.

Intellectually disabled: the current descriptor for the intellectualy lean,formerly known in
National educational assessment circles as 'retarded'.

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joseph's myth
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 7:57 am
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teoma2 wrote:
Another thoughtful addition here:

NFPR: Any NON faith promoting rumor that is factual in its nature and corroborated or supported by unbiased reproducible data or intell.

Intellectually disabled: the current descriptor for the intellectualy lean, formerly known in National educational assessment circles as 'retarded'.


The acronym of NFPR, is similar in more than one way, to the abbreviation used by the National Fire Prevention Research Foundation. Maybe helping to joke more about no single one fact, of Mormonism and Joseph's myth, actually being able to be believed. And keep out of the final trash pit of firey debris.

Heartbroken Euhemerism Lacking Lampoon or "HELL" for short.

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teoma2
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 7:02 am
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IL(INTELLECTUAL LEANESS) should be added in the alphabetical listing and as a generic adjective used to describe that overall mental quality of the LDS adherants. This two word phrase itself, was first coined or used by Joseph himself(If ya can believe that), in his 'own journal' as portrayed by the BYU production "Joseph" some time ago..It's quite appropriate I feel, and have to give due credit to Joseph for its formation, as it is a very clever way of describing his Sheeple...

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insanad
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 8:23 am
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That's a good one Teoma.
I've also heard the phrase, "Lacking in intellectual integrity" in regards to many in the religious community who can compartmentalize their irrational beliefs that completely negate their rational knowledge and justify, defend, and enforce such beliefs on others.

Like claiming that the Bible is the literal word of God, and should be taken literally, and then suggesting that they agree with the findings of evolution. It's a precarious fence to sit on and seems to cause constant conflict in having a discussion because it sets arbitrary boundaries on what can be absorbed or agreed upon.

If someone believed the story of Noah's ark and yet studied geology and realized that the splitting of the continents occurred millenia before the existence of man, they would have a hard time explaining how it could be possible to collect animals from all the earth or the actual logistical issues of a flood on that scale, not to mention the size of the boat, the food required, etc.. Yet in the same breath they'll defend the bible and it's legends to the death if necessary and insist that others accept it on literal value as well.

One of these things is not like the other.

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teoma2
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 7:06 am
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Even Bill Cosby, the comedian he was, back in the 60's poked fun of Noah, when he mentioned that same manure control problem aboard and the lack of able bodied personnel to clean up the mess!

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thews
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 10:59 am
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Poser = An internet ex-Mormon that champions the Mormon argument(s) in a :highfive: alignment to agree with the pro-Mormon argument. These people claim to be ex-Mormons, but what they usually are, are either sock puppets (fake names used to mask their real identity as being an alter ego from a TBM), or people that found out the truth about Mormonism and strive to help those struggling with their testimony to help keep it. It’s kind of an “I wish I didn’t know now, what I didn’t know then” Bob Seger sentiment as they curse the truth that they now can’t put back in the pretend compartment of thier past beliefs. People like this are dangerous in that they help reinforce the ridiculous parallel arguments and arguments from silence one must actually believe in order to maintain that Joe Smith was a prophet of God, when they know he was not, or pretend to believe he was not.

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thews
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 11:05 am
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Bad question = A question a Mormon simply cannot answer, so it must be rejected as "bad" or reworded.

Example:

Question: Was the green seer stone used by Sally Chase to find lost items an occult object?
Answer: Yes.

A seer stone used for hire to find treasure is by definition an occult object used by a scryer, or divination to find lost things. The act of using the stone for money defines it as "occult", and in this case the green stone used by Sally Chase to find lost items or treasure for hire. If one accepts this fact (because it is a fact), then Joe Smith was a false prophet of God, as he used this exact green rock owned by Sally Chase (not a Mormon) to find the magical seer stones he used to "translate" the supposed plates. Mormons will cliaim this question is bad, and use their own personal belief in occult objects as grounds to define seer stones used for hire, but in reality paying for someone to use a magic item to locate something ensures that whoever is paying for its use, must believe in its power. That magical power is either of the Christian God, or not of the Christian God, and personal belief is moot in this definition.

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Tim 4:3 For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine..they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.


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insanad
Post  Post subject: Re: Glossary and Acronyms  |  Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 11:50 am
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Hey Thews!! How are you and how is your lovely new bride?

Seer Stones are a strange animal aren't they? I think even the devout LDS would be a bit embarassed that such talismen or silly tools claimed to have any supernatural powers.

I wonder if John Dehlin would count as a poseur? People on both sides of the fence really love or hate that guy. I find him to be very duplicitious. No matter his good intent, he knows he's lying and seems to delight in how he can manipulate that fine line between obedience to the church and stepping out into the rest of the free world.

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